


Azalea

by RachelZimon



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: A wild Beta reader appears, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Book Nerd!Kylo, But it's Rey so who wouldn't be, Cunnilingus, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Kylo is kind of a perv, Love at First Sight, Modern AU, Not Beta Read, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Politics, The Reylo is Strong with This One, Wet Dream, not a slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-01-18 12:41:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 26,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12388290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RachelZimon/pseuds/RachelZimon
Summary: "He looked back at her. She was still muttering away to herself, but now was tugging at a tuft of hair that had fallen from one of her buns. He cocked his head as he thought – perhaps that's why she interested him so much. She was a puzzle. A young British girl living in a backwater town in Arizona; who wouldn't be curious by such circumstances?"orKylo Ren's life is thrown upside down when he meets Rey, a mechanic from the small town of Jakku. Their relationship is a series of firsts, neither knowing exactly what to do or how to do it. Together, they work to find their places in the world - even when the world doesn't want them to.A fluffy Modern AU with eventual smut galore.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [The entire Reylo family](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=The+entire+Reylo+family).



Kylo Ren considered himself a good employee.

He worked hard, harder than he probably should most days, was loyal and dedicated to his employer and did his best to go above and beyond what was asked of him. The late hours were inconsequential - he didn't do much other than read on his off hours and even then was on call at all hours of the night.

But this was ridiculous.

The political strategies conference he was assigned to attend was the complete other side of the country. He had to take several days of his accumulated sick days in order to just drive from New York to Las Vegas. The drive wasn't so bad at first - he was grumpy at having to get up early, and he had to take more than a few pee breaks with the amount of coffee it was taking to keep him awake to drive for 16 hours each day. Currently, he was on hour 34 and now he was pissed.

The route to Las Vegas had taken him through the Mohave Desert in Arizona. It didn't seem to matter how high he turned his air conditioner or that he hadn't left his car or opened his windows since entering the desert, he was hot and there was sand in his shoes and he decided that all those stories of his grandfather hating sand were completely justified.

His knuckles were white as he gripped the leather of his steering wheel. The smell of the desert, dry and hot, permeated his car and made his nose itch. He was officially out of coffee and had already passed through the last county half an hour before with no desire to turn back for a drink. He was in the final stretch - only an hour or two before he hit Vegas and could fall into his hotel bed and sleep until he had to deal with the conference tomorrow morning.

The noise started out low and soft. It couldn't be heard over the whir of the air conditioner. The whirring turned to a rattle and grew louder. Then came the smell, a putrid gas and burning coming straight through the air vents into the main compartment of the car. Kylo’s eyes widened as he shot to turn the air off.

“No, no, no, no, no!”

The engine blew. It erupted with a bang that left Kylo’s ears ringing and a plume of black smoke that filled the car and sky like a smoke signal.

He stumbled out of his car, coughing and wheezing. The desert air was a relief for all of a second before the dry heat filled his lungs. The heat was unbearable outside. He could feel the sweat already starting to drip down under his jacket and cling to his shirt.

The anger rose like bile up his throat - acidic and burning. He looked back at his car, the smoke wafting through the air and up blocking the clouds from his view. The wind picked up and smoke and sand blew into his eyes like salt in a wound. He growled; low and in he back of his throat, the sound growing until it reached its peak. Kylo screamed, kicking at his tires and ripping at his jacket until it lay in the dirt and sand. His throat soon went raw and he could taste blood on his tongue.

His assault on his car stopped with his screams. He huffed - his chest tight with fury and his jaw locked in place - and looked around the dusty road. There was nothing. No cars, no sound, only

sand, the road, and more fucking sand. He chewed on his cheek as he checked his phone. The screen was cracked but he could easily make out the lack of bars in the corner.

“No signal,” he muttered, “of fucking course.”

His skin had started itching from where his shirt clung to his back and sweat was already starting to drip into his eyes. He hadn't been drinking much water on the trip - mostly coffee and an awful tasting energy drink when he was desperate to drive one more extra hour the night before. With how hot it was, he knew dehydration was a real risk. He needed to get help and soon.

He had no option but to walk. Vegas was still at least an hours drive by car, and even if he could get to a place with signal that could still be hours of walking away. The little town he'd passed through was closest. He'd passed straight through it without having to leave the main road.

He picked his jacket off the ground and began walking.

——————

As far as Kylo could tell Jakku was a dismal dirty place. The welcome sign at the town line was faded, the words almost gone after being pounded by sand right down to the sheet metal beneath. Someone had taken it upon themselves to spray paint the sign, rewriting the word Jakku. Underneath the same person had graffitied “fuck this place”. The population had been completely worn away - the town was so small it seemed rather pointless anyways.

Only Main Street had been paved, all others he passed as he walked through were dirt and gravel. Somehow, despite not taking any of the roads, he still felt rocks gathering in his shoes. The streets were empty, though the shops all said open. He could vaguely see bustling through windows as he passed, but the glare from the high noon sun made it nearly impossible to see anything clearly. He felt like he was walking through an old Western movie, the crappy B-rated kind that came with porn stars trying to make it big and props from a dollar store.

He caught sight of an elderly woman exiting a shop up ahead, her arms full of bags. She looked at him and squinted. Smacking her lips together wetly, Kylo cringed as he approached. Her eyes were glazed over as she appraised him, staring at him like a piece of meat on a butchers shelf. He shifted under her gaze uncomfortably.

“You're new,” she said, voice full of grit and a lifetime of cigarettes. Her eyes never shifted from his face – her left was a muddled milk and didn't blink at all.

“I'm looking for a mechanic,” he questioned, “Is there one around here?”

The woman's face went slack for a moment. Confused, Kylo waved his hands in front of her face. She didn't react at first, but then snorted as if woken from a bad dream and looked back at him with the same buyer's eyes.

“You're new,” she repeated.

Kylo's face fell into his hands with a smack. He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, forcing himself to take deep breaths. Yelling at an obviously nearly-gone old woman would get him know where – even if between the heat, his car, and this bullshit trip Hux put him through, he really wanted to.

“I need a mechanic,” he gritted out.

She stayed silent and for a moment he thought she'd blanked out again. Instead, her mouth opened and her tongue swiped across her lower lip, “Unkar's.”

“Unkar's?”

She nodded, absentmindedly, “Up the road. Beside the old sign for “Niima's”.

Kylo nodded. He waved his hand in an awkward attempt in at a goodbye. The woman stayed rooted for a long while after he left and as she left his sight watched as he walked away with a distant look on her face. He shivered, a queasy feeling trickling through his stomach. If this woman was any representation of the average person in the town, he was dreading this “Unkar” and whatever establishment he ran.

“Unkar's” was a few minutes walk from where he met the old woman. The sign for his garage was huge and ugly. It was built with a mismatch of parts and letters from other signs. Beside, was a large scrapyard with large piles of garbage and old cars. As he got closer, a smell started to get stronger and stronger. Kylo waved at his nose – the waft of gasoline and burning rubber so much worse than the smoke from his engine.

He braced himself as he made it to the front door. He walked through and was immediately greeted by the ugliest shop he'd ever seen. He didn't expect much from mechanics in general. The shops back in New York were all relatively dirty with oil and grease, but at least the chairs didn't look as if they could give you Tetanus by proximity alone.

There was no reception desk, only a tiny table that looked like it had been pilfered from the scrapyard outside with a tiny plastic school chair behind. A radio droned from a place he couldn't see and it sounded halfway between static and some conspiracy-theorist's ramblings.

“Hello,” he called out. His throat felt like he had sand in it and the air tasted stale.

From one of the back rooms, he heard a yelp and a bang. The groan sounded surprisingly feminine; Kylo's eyebrows shooting up as he tried to peer through the door to the garage.

“Hold on!”

The voice was a shock. Young, female, and British. A complete collection of everything he hadn't expected. The voice was pretty, he thought absently.

Whatever thoughts that were to come next vanished as a young girl came rushing out from the back. She was dressed in rags, linen pants more stained than clean and a moth eaten tank top, and her hair was like liquid cocoa and pulled back in three messy buns lining the back of her head. Her face was clear and freckled, with a smudge across her cheek. He caught her eyes then, all forest greens and copper swirling. She flinched back after a moment, looking at him skeptically. Her brows furrowed and for everything she was – filthy and covered in grime with a sour expression as she studied him (it should have reminded him of the old woman on the street, the look was the same, but it didn't) she was beautiful. Glamourous caked in oil, and bewitching dripping with sweat.

He was ripped from his thoughts when she spoke up again. Her voice was prettier the second time, “You're new.”

He scoffed, “Is that all people around here say?”

“What,” she recoiled, a sneer on her lips. He couldn't help but think she was still pretty. It was an odd thought that kept reoccurring. He was starting to think the desert air was getting to him – that was the only explanation for his amazement over a slip of a girl.

“Is Unkar around,” he asked. He was snippier than intended but her face schooled itself back into a blank slate and she showed nothing but indifference. It was unsettling, and a lump formed in his stomach.

“He's out,” she muttered, “What do you need?”

“Something's wrong with my car-”

She snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough. He sneered at her. Pretty but rude, he could focus on the latter. He knew how to deal with the latter much more than he could a pretty girl.

“I'm sorry,” she sputtered, still pretending to cough to keep up a facade of professionalism, “You were saying?”

He glowered. Usually his stare was enough to part seas of people like he was a snake and they were mice rushing to hide in the grass. This girl didn't budge – her eyes turned hard and she returned his gaze with an intensity someone of her size shouldn't possess. Reluctantly, he softened - he was impressed and it felt like an odd buzzing in his chest.

“My car,” he repeated, “Something is wrong with it.”

“I gathered. What happened?”

“I don't know. One moment it was fine, and the next there was smoke everywhere.”

Her eyes brightened, “What colour?”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. The sudden enthusiasm on her face was clear. She smiled, and her cheeks were dimpled and perfect.

“The smoke,” he asked. She nodded and her smile brightened a little, “It was black.”

“Black,” she mumbled to herself. He watched as her mind worked. It was an intoxicating sight. Her lips were parted absentmindedly, and she drummed the fingers of one hand against her the skin of her sternum. Her tank top was stained down the middle with a line of black marking the valley of her breasts. His eyes trailed it, and with a cotton mouth, he wondered what the skin beneath looked like.

He rips his eyes up to stare at the ceiling with burning cheeks. His jaw ached under the pressure of his teeth and he held it until it hurt. He didn't even know this girl, yet he couldn't help but find everything he did know so far enthralling. He was surprising himself – he wanted to know everything, anything she would give him. She was such a mystery to him – like the puzzles he used to do as a kid.

He looked back at her. She was still muttering away to herself, but now was tugging at a tuft of hair that had fallen from one of her buns. He cocked his head as he thought – perhaps that's why she interested him so much. She was a puzzle. A young British girl living in a backwater town in Arizona; who wouldn't be curious by such circumstances?

She finally stopped and looked back at him. The smile disappeared and he felt it in his gut.

She opened her mouth to speak, but he spoke faster, mouth moving faster that his brain could stop him, “What's your name?”

She looked surprised. He wondered if anyone who past through had asked before – or if he was the first person she'd met from beyond Jakku. She chewed on her bottom lip as she stared at his face intently. Her eyes were intense and unwavering. It felt as if she were staring right into him, like she could see everything he was and what had created him. He suddenly felt uncomfortable in her presence. He averted his eyes, hoping it would stop her from seeing anything. He'd never been particularly embarrassed or scared of how someone would see him, but the idea of her looking at him like everyone in New York did, with fearful eyes and quivering limbs, made him sick to his stomach. He didn't want to scare her – at least not until his need to understand her was quenched.

“Why do you want to know,” she asked.

“I'd like to know the name of the mechanic who will be working on my car,” he replied, “you will be the one working on it, won't you?”

“I'm the only one who works here,” she muttered and he couldn't miss the disdain in her voice. She squinted up at him, pondering. She chewed at her bottom lip in thought until it was red. The shade was far too appealing.

“It's Rey.”

She was so quiet that he hardly heard her, but the name rang in his ears as if she'd screamed it at him.

“Rey,” he repeated, the name felt sweet on his tongue.

She blushed and tucked a loose hair behind her ear. She composed herself quickly, wiping her grease stained hands on her shirt leaving tracks of black.

“I just need to start some the forms and get some more info from you and then we can go and get your car.”

She left him to grab a few papers from a stack behind her. She turned around, a smile on her face, small but there.

She bent over the tiny desk with the forums spread out before her. She worked with quick hands jotting down the little things she already knew. She shifted and it gave him a perfect view down the cleft of her breasts. He forced himself to focus on her hands. She moved with purpose and only as she needed to.

“Can I get your name?”

“It's Ben.”

He froze, like lightning had flooded his system and paralysed him to the spot. His mouth opened and tried to locate words - anything to fix the mistake that just left him but just ended up floundering like a fish out of water.

She hummed noncommittally before piping up again, “I didn't catch that.”

“Ren,” he blurted. Surprised, she looked at him with sceptical eyes, “Kylo Ren.”

One eyebrow rose at him, “No, really, what is it?”

“It is Kylo Ren.”

Her head cocked to the side - her eyes glimmering with interest. It was the nicest she had looked at him yet (not that he was paying attention to things like that, _really_ ).

“Is that some fancy rich boy name,” she asked.

He could help the faint smile that cross his lips, “something like that, I suppose.”

“You talk like a rich boy,” she mused, not entirely sweetly but without the animosity he would have expected with the statement, “C'mon let's go get your car.”

——————

The drive to pick up Kylo's car was surprisingly pleasant. Despite Rey's decrepit old tow truck having no working air conditioner and missing one of it's back windows, the heat and sand felt no more of a bother than a fly. They made quiet conversation – Rey explaining the town history and obviously trying to paint it in the best light possible. He told her little things about New York, touristy things that she drank up like a sponge. She was veracious in her desire to learn, something he supposed they had in common.

He learned little things about her as they spoke. She didn't say a lot about herself, or really how she felt about what she talked about in general, just straight forward things she found interesting, but her emotions were clear to read. It was obvious she disliked her job, but was grateful for it. She was particularly excited over Mrs. Ahna bringing her a slice of marshmallow pie once Rey finished replacing her carburetor (she admitted she'd only had pie once before in her life, also one from Mrs. Ahna but that the old woman rarely drove and thus rarely needed any maintenance.).

“So,” she mused, “you're on your way to Vegas right?”

He watched her as she drove, it was a much more enjoyable sight than the endless desert, “Yeah, I'm attending a conference for a week starting tomorrow.”

“Exciting stuff?”

“Like a root canal,” he spat. She laughed suddenly, a little bell ending in a litany of snorts and gasps. It was the cutest thing he'd ever heard and he immediately wanted to make her laugh again. Then, a breeze picked up and sand washed through the car, “forgive me, but why is it that a mechanic has no air?”

Her face darkened a tad and she spoke, trying to control her tone, “Unkar doesn't like to spend money on anything he says isn't 'a necessity'. I tried replacing the air once. I found a working one in a similar model in one of the scrap cars. It worked for a little while, but after it stopped again and I haven't found another one since.”

“A little scavenger,” he smirked, and he caught her purse her lips in amusement and irritation, “you won't steal anything from my car, will you?”

She smiled, “Only what you don't need. I'd probably get something good for it. Your car is nice I bet.”

“What makes you think I don't drive some beat up old lemon?”

She laughed again and he couldn't help but chuckle along with him. It felt funny in his gut and throat, like his body was adjusting to a long unused muscle. It had been so long since he'd laughed, maybe it was.

“A city boy like you,” she said, “no way. You probably drive some fancy thing – with air conditioning and heating.”

They came upon his car right after that. It didn't take her long to hook it up, whistling appreciatively as she did. With the smoke gone, his car looked deceptively well. Rey had taken the time to run her fingers over the rims in awe as she worked.

“I've never seen a car so new.”

It wasn't new by any standards, the car almost five years old at this point, but the admiration on her face was too wonderful to ruin with anything he wanted to say in rebuttal.

Back in the car, he couldn't help himself, “You don't get a lot of people coming through, do you?”

She shook her head, “No. Any people who stop are going to Vegas and just need some gas and sometimes a place to sleep for the night. It doesn't happen often.”

The rest of the drive was silent back to the garage. It was comfortable, but Kylo spent it trying to find more things to say.

——————

“It shouldn't be more than a few hours,” Rey told him, wiping her hands on a rag before handing him a pen to finish the paperwork from earlier, “You'll have more than enough time to make your conference.”

“What's wrong with it,” he asked, signing the bottom of the paper with years worth of practice.

“Do you really care,” she said. She took the papers from him and stuffed them into an accordion file that she then tucked under her arm.

“I suppose not,” he huffed, “how much will it all cost?”

“Not too much. Money doesn't really go far around here, so I guess that's some good news for you.”

He cocked an eyebrow, expecting her to elaborate on such a strange comment. She didn't, and he wondered if it would be inappropriate to press her further.

“I'll call you when I'm done,” she told him instead, “There's a diner up the road. You get a discount if you say Unkar sent you. Other than that, there's not too much else around.”

“Do you have a library,” he asked. It was the first thing that came to mind when it came to killing time. He'd spent most of his childhood at the local libraries and the habit had stuck with him since.

“Yes,” she answered, looking a little bewildered at his request, “It's right around the corner from the diner. You should find it pretty easily. It's small, I don't know if that makes much of a difference.”

He shook his head, “As long as it has a decent book or two, it will be perfect.”

She waved him off as he left, making sure to point him in the direction of the diner and by extension the library. He left her with a goodbye that didn't feel forced or awkward and headed down the road. Once inside the diner, he ignored all the stares, ordered a cup of discount mediocre coffee and a water and then turned the ringer on his cell as loud as it would go.

——————

Kylo was half way through a beaten up copy of Timothy Findley's _Not Wanted on the Voyage_ when his phone rang. The book was a surprise to see among the stacks – it had always been one of his favourites and he found himself always coming back to it despite it's horrors and the pain and blasphemy it spoke of. It was a strangely comforting book to him and he knew that it wasn't meant to be.

Still engrossed, he answered his phone, absentmindedly, while the librarian, a middle aged man with a portly figure and patchy moustache, glared from across the room.

“Ren,” he said.

“Your car is done,” Rey's voice was clipped and grating. His stomach dropped at the sound and he wondered what could have happened in the last few hours to change her mood so drastically. He'd felt good when he left. She had been laughing and smiling and had felt like the sun itself – radiant and fiery.

“I'll come get it then,” he replied, “Just give me a few minutes to walk over.”

“Of course, I'll see you soon.”

Before she could hang up he heard someone yelling at her. She sighed, defeatedly, and then the line cut off completely. Kylo didn't know how long it had been since he moved so fast. He left the book on the table and sprinted back to the garage. Outside, he could still here the yelling and it made his blood boil.

Inside, Kylo found Rey standing before an old man. He was a fat, gross creature with a neanderthal brow and bulbous nose. Kylo could smell him from where he stood at the door and it wasn't pleasant. The man had shut up almost immediately as he heard the door close.

“You must be Mr. Ren,” he greeted. His breath was rotten and his hand was wet with sweat as he went to shake Kylo's hand.

Kylo bit the inside of his cheek to keep from saying anything he shouldn't. Behind the man, Rey stood, glaring at the back of his bald head. She was shaking, livid with anger, like she would over flow at any moment. She closed her eyes, squeezing them shut, and Kylo watched in awe as the anger drained away from her face so quickly it made his head spin.

He turned his attention back to the old man, “I am, and you are?”

“I am Unkar Plutt, owner of this fine establishment,” he boasted. Rey rolled her eyes, and Kylo had to stifle the urge to laugh.

Unkar went to continue speaking but Kylo quickly beat him to the punch, “I was told my car is done.”

“Right, of course,” he turned to Rey and shoved a greedy hand towards her, “get me the file, girl.”

Rey nodded, looking by all means a docile little thing. She returned quickly with it, and fished the paperwork from earlier out. Unkar grabbed the papers from her and looked through them. He spent his time reading them over, alternating between the pages and looking up at Kylo. He could feel him staring at his clothes, his eyes following the tailored lines and the expensive leather of his shoes.

Unkar grunted, pushing the papers back into Rey's hands without sparing a glance at her, “Five thousand should cover it.”

“That's ridiculous,” Rey yelled in outrage. Unkar's head swung back to level her with a sneer but Rey didn't budge, “the work I did isn't worth nearly that much.”

“Quiet, girl,” Unkar warned, sounding feral and much like a rabid dog with a bone. Rey flinched, falling back into domesticity, her eyes boring straight into the floor like it had been the one who had wronged her.

“I'll pay,” Kylo said and Unkar's eyes lit up like Christmas lights while Rey just continued to glare at the ground, “on one condition. I'd like a moment to speak with my mechanic. I've only got a few questions and I'm sure the owner of such a _fine establishment_ understands.”

“Yes! Yes, of course, Mr. Ren,” Unkar gushed. He took his time leaving the room, making sure to mutter something in Rey's ear that drained her face. She nodded, and he finally left, though the ghastly smell of him remained.

Rey rushed up, “You don't have to pay that much. Unkar's trying to scam you.”

“I know,” Kylo answered, and her face screwed up confused.

“Then why agree?”

“Will you be blamed if I don't?”

She fell silent for a moment, looking back to make sure Unkar wasn't close enough to hear them talking. She looked crest fallen, a shadow of the spitfire he'd met earlier.

Finally she spoke, “I will.”

“Then I'll pay,” Kylo insisted, “I won't be the reason for that man to blame you for nothing. Money is not something I particularly care about – if it will satisfy his appetite and keep you safe then I won't miss it.”

“I don't need protection,” she hissed, bearing her teeth and wrinkling her nose at him, “Especially not from you. I hardly know you!”

“That hardly matters,” he shot back. She glowered at him from beneath her lashes.

“I won't be a charity case,” she demanded. Kylo wanted to take her by the arms and shake her until she gained some sort of sense. Anything until she realized he was just trying to be _nice_ , that he _wanted_ to be nice to her.

“It's just money,” he spat.

Lock-jawed, she rolled her eyes. The words out of her mouth her venomous and stung, “You really are an asshole, aren't you?”

Kylo straightened like a pole and pulled his chequebook from his inside pocket. He scribbled away, his pen nearly ripping through the paper. Frustrated, he ripped the cheque off and slammed it on the fold out table.

“I'd like my car now.”

She motioned him, stiffly, to follow her. She brought him to the back garage, where he car was pointed towards the door and ready to drive off. She plucked the keys off a wall rack and threw them at him. He caught them with ease, more than familiar enough with flying projectiles to see it coming. She opened the garage and stood by it's mouth.

“There,” she muttered, not looking him in the eye, “You can go now.”

She didn't move as he climbed into the drivers seat. His gaze remained rooted on her as he fiddled with his seat and mirrors and then started the engine. It turned on perfectly, the engine purring contently. His foot took it's place against the gas pedal, but he couldn't press down. His leg felt numb at the thought.

He rolled the window down and Rey finally looked at him. She had calmed significantly even though it had only been moments. A tingle rose it's way up Kylo's spine as she approached, coming to stand just before him with her hands shoved in her pockets.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

She didn't smile but she sighed, resigned and happy, “thank you.”

He drove off after that. He watched his rear view mirror until the sign for Unkar's was out of sight. The desert ahead of him felt emptier than it had before, barren and cold now the sun was going down. He wanted to be relieved, finally back on the road and headed to a five-star hotel to sleep on a grand bed with a mini-fridge full of blue label.

Instead, his mind was filled with talk of pie and giggle-snorts.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit! I am flabbergasted with the response that this received! Never in my wildest dreams did I expect people to be so amazing and to see kudos from people who's work I've admired for such a long time was a really awesome thing. Thank you everyone!
> 
> I wanted to get this out a few days ago, but there were some complications with my dogs surgery and it's been difficult to write. Luckily, he's home now and his surgery went as well as it could have gone. He's beside me right now all doped up and sleepy and still my perfect little prince.
> 
> Work is not Beta'd so any mistakes are my own.
> 
> This chapter brought to you by "(You're A) Strange Animal" By Gowan

The conference was exactly as Kylo had expected. The hotel and convention center were lush, filled with useless amenities that no one except the elderly politicians cared much about. His room had been perfect with a four-post bannister bed draped in Egyptian cotton sheets with name brand chocolates left on the pillow after housekeeping left instead of nameless mints. The bathroom had a plethora of miniature soaps and oils to use. The mini fridge was stocked, as he had expected, with blue label and samples of the hotels house made wine.

There was ample time between speakers during the day to explore the city. He tried the first day, set on finding a book shop or anywhere that may have a decent read - he was steadily regretting not bringing a few books with him on the trip. He only lasted a block of walking before turning back for the hotel. The streets were full of tourists and ignorance. People slammed into him as he walked, many drunk and giddy despite it being mid afternoon. 

It was too much. There were too many people, there was too much pomp and circumstance. The sidewalk felt too much like a frat party far past it’s expiry with performers on every corner and vomit by his feet.

He retreated back to the hotel quickly where he found a hand full of books possibly worth reading hidden away on a rotating stand at the back of the gift shop. 

Books in hand, he curled up in the arm chair by the window back in his room. He picked a book from the pile randomly and left the rest on the sill to wait their turn. He spent the better part of his free time in his room reading. He only socialized when he had to, and did his best to avoid any lengthy conversations. In the back of his mind, a voice nagged him. He should be socializing and rubbing elbows with the old geezers here. Many would be profitable benefactors for the First Order party and coming back with more funding would leave Mr. Snoke very pleased.

He did his best and attended a couple of mixers some of the richer attendees had thrown in the VIP lounge. He played his part, wore his nicest suit and was cordial. He drank what was offered, never enough to get passed a comforting buzz but enough that the old men and women who were throwing back top shelf whiskey like water found him pleasant enough to keep talking to.

In the end, he always left too early to close any proper deals, though a few of the drunker gentlemen had promised to look into the First Order platform. He doubted they would remember by morning but he had done enough to give some good news back to Mr. Snoke and Kylo considered that a win in itself. 

By the second day of the conference, all he wanted was to go home. With each speaker it was becoming more and more apparent that this whole trip was one long spiteful joke. None of the presentations pertained to his position within the party at all. It may have been Mr. Snoke who had told him to attend, but Kylo knew exactly who had put the idea in his ear. When he got home, he was going to punch the stupid red-haired weasel he worked with right in his mouth - or at least spread a rumour about Hux suddenly contracting a very contagious form of genital herpes.

Of course, going home came with another problem. Going home meant driving through Jakku again, which meant he could see Rey again. He realized quickly that if he wanted to see her (and he did, he truly did) he’d need a reason. 

He had expected, that by the time the conference ended, whatever odd fascination he had with her would have passed. Instead, he found himself thinking more of her and his few hours in Jakku more as the speakers passed in flurries of long winded fantasies and fake conversations in his head. It was starting to become unnerving. Even as a child, he’d hardly cared for company. The other children were too boisterous and even when he had thought upon first meeting them that he could like them one day, the feeling passed in a matter of moments. If it hadn’t been for Mr. Snoke, Kylo doubted he’d be attached to politics at all - if only to avoid all the people. 

Rey had already proven herself to be different. It had been days, and he still wanted to know her. He wanted to break open the little box her life remained in, see what was there and what made her become what she was. His need to learn more had grown steadfast, turning into a hunger gnawing beneath his skin. 

His thoughts constantly drifted. The books only distracted him for so long before a passage would remind him of her. The speakers were worse - they droned on about their useless topics and his mind would instantly go blank from boredom. Then he’d see her face in his mind, her profile blurred by the sun and her excitement over a simple piece of pie or the colour of smoke. He saw her face screwed up in confusion, staring him through with parted pink lips and wide hazel eyes, that blackened stain that led his eyes to her breasts, small and the tops covered in freckles.

Yet, for all his imaginings, he'd come up with nothing. Nada. Zip. He couldn't think of a single reason to see her without coming off like a creep. While tempting, he couldn't just walk into the shop, invite her to dinner, and spend it trying to work off his curiosity. She had been right before – they didn't know each other. He knew enough about her that he desired so much more, but not truly enough to describe much of her life. 

He knew he liked her spunk – that there was a fire inside that burned bright and hot. He found a comfort in that. Watching her blow up, even just briefly, at that disgusting Unkar Plutt had been mesmerizing. In that moment, she had been strong and powerful, so raw and unbridled. If she hadn't calmed herself, he wondered what she would have done. The thought sent chills down his spine and left him tingling from the roots of his hair right down into his shoes. 

He excused himself for a drink then, and didn't bother returning to finish that particular presentation. 

——————

The end of the conference came quicker than Kylo had anticipated. The last speaker had finished early afternoon with an announcement of a final mixer later that night to end it all on a bang. He had no intention of attending and had rebuffed any of the elderly political junkies as politely as he could insisting he had a long drive home and would like to be on the road as soon as possible. 

One gentleman, Kylo couldn’t remember his name, had cocked his head at him, “Rushing home to someone special, Mr. Ren?”

Kylo shook his head, eyes drifting to the elevator count hoping to would come and he’d be all the closer to his room and away from the nosy man.

“Just ready to be home and sleep in my own bed,” Kylo told him, “I’m sure my cat is tired of the sitter anyways.”

The old man laughed gruffly. Of course, it had been a lie. Kylo had no cat nor the desire for one, but it made for an easy exit when the elevator came and the old man moved to the lounge at the end of the hall. 

The elevator sent jitters running through him. It felt like his skin was covered in electric nodes, all of them buzzing insistently and on the verge of electrocuting him through. It escalated as he reached his room, and turned into an unbearable amount of energy coursing through him as he tried to pack.

His brain felt like it was in a fog - his thoughts were scrambled and fuzzy. Snippets of ideas were racing past, too quickly to catch it for more than a moment before another one was coming through the same way. With them, all he felt was dizzy and stupid. He still had no idea on how to meet up with Rey and curb this ridiculous want flooding him. He just knew he needed it, needed to see her and finally release his system from her influence. 

With his suitcases stuffed, he was far too fidgety to do it properly, and the books he’d bought left on the dresser for whoever may want them - only one had been worth keeping and it was wrapped up in a sweater for safe keeping in his largest bag - Kylo called the front desk to send up an extra hand. He stopped by the mini fridge and shot back a sample bottle of something strong and bitter. The buzzing under his skin calmed just slightly,  _just enough_ , and once he had composed himself a bellhop had come to the door with a cart for his bags. 

Like a steady stream of trickling sand bottoming out an hourglass, Kylo could feel time running out.

——————

Jakku's silhouette was coming up fast upon the horizon. It had taken too little time to get there, and he needed more time, he had no idea what to do. It was odd and incredibly frustrating to be so unsure. Kylo Ren was not a man without ideas. Kylo Ren was a problem solver. He always knew what he needed to do and how he was going to do it. He was starting to feel like a fucking simpleton  unable to create a single coherent thought. He’d spent three days trying to figure this whole situation out. The short drive from Las Vegas back to Jakku had done nothing but driven his desperation to anger.

It was too late to wreck his car himself. There was nothing significant to crash into, he had nothing in the car that he could dent the paneling or break a window with. As the sign for Jakku became clearer, he feared the inevitable. 

He had to drive straight through. He had no reason to stop. He was going have to take his stupid curiosity all the way back New York. He wouldn’t be able to see Rey again. He could talk to her until he was finally satisfied, or try and look through her as she had him. He couldn’t attempt to figure her out or try to count the freckles on her nose. 

He was fucked - and there was nothing he could do. 

He picked up speed as he hit Jakku. If he had to go straight through, he wanted to as quick as possible. Perhaps with the option gone, his mind would be his own again. Then he could go home to his one bedroom apartment and forget this whole charade ever happened. He could forget all about milk chocolate hair and dimples framing a perfect smile. This throat tightened at thought because he knew for all his convincing that he wouldn’t forget and there was too much about her that he needed to understand. He needed to see her - he just couldn’t.

He swore he saw her as he passed through. He wondered if he truly did or if it had been his imagination conjuring up the flash of grease and linen turning away from him. His hands were so tight in the wheel it felt like his knuckles would break under the pressure. Jakku was fading behind him. He could hardly make out the town in his mirrors anymore. Eventually, it was gone and everything around his was sand and road.

He drove hardly feeling the heat or the sand in his car. His body was numb to it, the anger in his system so all encompassing that he wasn’t able to feel anything else. In the back of his mind, he realized the ridiculousness of the whole situation; logic yelling at him that it didn't matter what would have happened if he had been able to stop because he would never have seen her again anyways. She was just a girl. A plain little nobody from a nobody little town with the sun in her smile and fire in in her eyes that had threatened to burn him through.

Then, a ping rang out from his dashboard. In blue light, the check engine symbol had turned on. His mouth had gone dry at the sight. His eyes remained on it in shock, waiting for the light to disappear as fast as it came. It didn't.

Kylo had never made a U-turn so fast in his life.

——————

Pulling up to the garage had been easy. Getting out of his car had been easy as well. His body was moving on auto pilot, seeing nothing but the front door once it had come into view. The rest of the world felt like a blur, his body light and airy as he approached with cautious steps. The door felt daunting. It was a feeling he detested.

With a quick breath for courage, he called upon what little alcohol was in his body to give him whatever bravery it could, he pushed open the door and walked inside. He grimaced as he caught sight off Unkar Plutt in all his disgusting glory sitting hunched over the table at the front. Unkar didn't notice him at first, his body squished into the plastic chair and he looked like a lumpy cheese cloth. His eyes drifted up, finally, before shooting open with glossy excitement. He rushed to stand and pushed his way past the table. It skidded across the floor with a screech.

“Mr. Ren,” Unkar greeted, please and shoving a grubby hand out at Kylo, “It's a pleasure to see you again. What can I help with?”

Kylo looked down at the sweaty sausage hand in front of him. He pointedly ignored it and shoved his own hands into his pockets. Irritated, Unkar retracted his hand, a slight scowl on his mouth.

“Is Rey here,” Kylo asked, his voice stern and plain. Unkar's eyes narrowed.

“She's working out back,” he grumbled. 

“In the garage?”

“Yes-”

“Good,” Kylo interrupted, pushing past Unkar who sputtered, aghast, “I remember the way.”

Unkar's protests went unheard as Kylo walked straight through into the garage. He made a point of locking the door behind him, letting the pleasure of hearing Unkar's annoyance on the other side flow through him; he was muffled but clearly muttering curses under his breath. Kylo chuckled, playing with the doorknob and listening to the clack of the lock for good measure. 

He turned around and stared out into the garage. He couldn't see her, too many cars than safe stuffed in the garage, but he could hear her clearly; her voice clear as it echoed off the cement walls humming a patternless made-up tune. He followed her voice, feeling like a sailor lost in a siren's song. Rey was certainly no siren, but her voice was cute and boppy as she sung and he realized quickly that he wouldn't mind hearing more.

His footsteps were loud in the room, and her humming stopped abruptly. 

“I'm not finished with Mrs. Ahna's car yet,” she called out, “It will only be a few more minutes.”

“I guess that means you have yet to have that pie,” he answered just as he turned past the final car and she came into his sight line and him into hers.

She shot straight like a rod in shock at his voice, her head smacking into the edge of the hood of Mrs. Ahna's old rusted up truck. He winced at the sound of her head crashing into the metal and rushed over to her side. She had her hand up in her hair, cradling the top of her head. He gently pulled it away, and reached up to check her for bleeding. The air escaped his lungs in a comforting exhale; she had a nice bump but no cuts or bleeding. He didn't realize he was still holding her hand and the back of her head until she nudged at him and pushed him away. She ripped her hand away like he had burned her and held it to her chest protectively.

She looked up at him, lips pursed indignantly and brow furrowed. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat inside the garage, a petal pink dotted with freckles across her nose like the desert had imprinted itself on her.

Fuck, she was prettier than she had any right to be. 

Kylo pulled at the collar of his shirt, suddenly feeling the stuffy heat inside. Rey watched him carefully; the baby hairs that framed her face slick with sweat and sticking to her skin. It was much more inciting than it should have been, the little wisps constantly bringing his gaze back to her face and those eyes that reflected like bronzite. 

“What are you doing here,” she asked, quiet and skeptical. 

“My check engine light went off,” he said, “I was lucky to have been nearby.”

She scoffed, grabbing a rag from her pocket and wiping her hands. She stuffed it between her breasts to dab at the sweat pooling in her cleavage. She was casual, as if it were normal to be pawing at herself in front of strangers. He caught a flash of tan fabric wrapped around her like a bra, and forced himself to look away. 

“I just fixed up your car,” she murmured haughtily, “What did you do at that conference?”

“Nothing that I know of,” Kylo answered. She titled her head with a small snort like she didn't believe him. It sounded close enough to the giggles in the tow truck from days ago and he shuttered.

“I guess you want me to take a look?”

The rag was finally tucked back in her pocket and it felt safe to look her in the eye again. That was a mistake; the minute he did a lump formed in his throat. His stomach felt like it was filled with bubbles. 

“You fixed it last time,” he nodded, “It's been running like new since. I'm sure what's ever wrong is nothing compared to what you fixed last time.”

She left him to open the garage and look at his car. He felt her missing beside him immediately, like the space beside him somehow felt less now that she had walked away. It was such a stupid thought he shook his head to try and dislodge it. He had no idea what being around her was doing to him and he wasn't so sure he liked it. 

He followed her, throwing over his keys when she waved for them. He stood outside awkwardly as she went about a quick check inside his car, testing his engine and steering. She moved with a precision that betrayed her age. She worked as if she’d been putting cars right again for twenty years. Maybe she had, and the thought was unsettling.

When she got to his engine, propping the hood up, Kylo shifted to hold onto the hood panel, a little anxious over her possibilities hitting her head again. She cast a side-eye glance at him, obviously amused; he simply shrugged in response and turned back to watch her fingers work. They were stained black, with tiny callouses across her palm, and they were lovely and elegant and his own fingers itched to hold them again.

Suddenly she groaned, her head falling forward. She shook her head in disbelief before standing with a chastising cluck of the tongue. He cocked an eyebrow at her, and she smiled sheepishly.

“I didn’t check your oil last time,” she explained, “I don’t know why I didn’t think to.”

“It’s just my oil?”

“From what I can tell, yeah.”

She stretched out her back with a dramatic sigh. It popped loudly and Kylo winced; he hated that sound, the bubble pop that made his joints itch. Rey rubbed at her eyes, leaving smears of black like a raccoon. Kylo couldn't help the laugh that pushed up his throat and out of him. It was odd and unpracticed, a loud bellow that came from his stomach. She looked surprised, his laughs hearty and clearly not what she had expected. He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and let her look at her reflection in the dark screen. Immediately, she tried to cover up a grin, her hand covering her mouth as a giggle tried to push its way out sounding like a closed mouth trumpet. Kylo continued to laugh until his chest started to hurt and she had been reduced to a fit of those giggle-snorts he enjoyed so much.

She tried to clean her face on her arm and it mostly worked. Only a little bit of black remained across her eyes, and her face lit up in a smile of white light. He smiled back, wide and unusual, unable to resist.

She spoke, still laced with the aftermath of laughing, “I can't remember the last time I laughed like that.”

“I can't either,” Kylo admitted. Rey hummed, happily.

“Just give me five minutes,” she said, suddenly twisting on her heels and heading back into the garage.

“Five minutes?”

He followed her in, feeling dejectedly like a lost child grabbing onto the first nice looking girl he could find for help. She walked straight to a little trunk at the back, sticking her rump in the air as she leaned over to rummage around muttering to herself under her breath. Kylo's pants quickly felt tight, and the shame set in immediately. Watching her paw at her own breasts had been difficult enough, but her pants were tight, obviously hemmed strangely and leaving little room. With her back turned, Kylo adjusted himself through his trousers, hoping to whatever deity that had allowed him the opportunity to come back to Jakku would also protect him from her seeing his moment of weakness.

She snapped back up with a jug of oil in her hands, his eyes still firmly planted on her ass watching with a gaping mouth as the perfect flesh fell into place. She passed by him without a word and headed back to his car. Her hips swayed with a sensuality that betrayed her, and for the first time Kylo wondered if she was aware of just what she was doing to him. With a quick squeeze to keep his cock at bay, he joined her back at his car just as she finished up the oil change.

“That's it,” Rey chirped.

_That's it?_

That couldn't just be it. He couldn't just leave now – not after all the time he'd spent planning things to say to her. He wanted more, he _needed_ more!

“Let me take you to dinner.”

The words were as uncontrollable as vomit. Rey tilted her head at him, confused and shocked. Her cheeks flushed that pretty pink from before. He hoped it wouldn't fade as fast.

“As a thank you,” he clarified, “for everything.”

She chuckled, “I only fixed your car. It's my job.”

She had a point, but he couldn't let up so quickly, “I would very much appreciate if you would let me.”

She stared at the ground in thought, her brain working through everything. It lasted a long while and Kylo did his best to wait patiently but his foot still tapped the ground anxiously. Finally, because it truly did feel as if he'd been waiting an eternity with baited breath for her to answer, she looked back up at him.

“It would have to be after my shift,” she murmured, still apprehensive, “You probably want to get back to driving before then.”

“I can wait,” he replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Kylo Ren Has a Boner!
> 
> Kylo takes Rey to dinner, we learn some more about things, and a familiar face makes an appearance!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey grow closer and Kylo makes a pretty big realization. They go on their sort-of date, run into some drama, and meet a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Minor edits made Nov. 20/17
> 
> FINALLY! I've been working non-stop on this since I posted the last chapter but it's been slow but final projects and my inability to write anything that isn't ridiculously long as a single chapter. 
> 
> Hopefully this extra long chapter, almost 8,000 words, will make up for the delay.
> 
> HOLY SHIT THOUGH, I honestly never the reaction that this has received so far. It makes me really happy to know that other people enjoy this. I'm slowly falling in love with this AU that I've created so far and I hope it keeps up with your expectations.
> 
> WARNING: this is the fluffiest shit I have ever written. It's fluffy to the point that I constantly was debating going in and taking a good chunk of it out. But the majority of it comes from Kylo and there's no way he can do anything without being a drama queen. He's just extra as fuck as per usual - you'll see what I mean!
> 
> This chapter brought to you by "Can't Fight This Feeling" by REO Speedwagon.

Kylo did wait.

He commandeered a fold-out chair from the corner and sat beside a rotting work bench. He could easily see her flit around as she worked, completely focused with blinded precision. He only left her presence to take a quick run by the local library again. The constipated librarian from before looked like he'd seen a ghost when Kylo came in. Without much fuss, Kylo skimmed the shelves before grabbing two favourites (again he was surprised to find in Jakku's shack-sized library) and announced he'd return them later in the day. The librarian was too busy gawking to object, so Kylo had no trouble leaving and returning to the garage.

Rey acknowledged him with a quick smile, her eyes drifting briefly to the books in his arm, before returning back to work. She was elbow deep in the engine of a car so old Kylo wondered if it even had headlights. She was humming again, this time with mindless words about what she was doing and chastising the cars as if they were children.

Kylo tried to comfortably nestle into the metal chair but he was far too big for it. His legs were gangly and long – despite years of working out and balancing his body out with muscle sometimes he still felt as if he was a teenager with uncomfortable proportions and little control of it all. Soon, he found the closest thing to a comfortable position and opened the first book.

Most of the afternoon went by in a comfortable silence. Rey continued to sing under her breath while Kylo came to the end of the novel in his hands. It was a type of amenity he wasn't used to. Her presence brought a welcome warm satisfaction in his chest. A small smile was across his mouth, demure and completely unnoticed.

“You read a lot, huh?”

At first, Kylo had thought he was hearing things. He'd been so entranced within the novel, only breaking from the pages to watch her every once in a while. She had been just as interesting, a strange concept, and so he had done his best to focus on the words in front of him instead, allowing himself only the briefest of moments to indulge in watching her work.

But Rey was there, fiddling with a pipe in her hands, watching him and waiting for an answer.

“Yes,” he answered.

She was quiet for a moment, looking down at the book in his hands. The cover was a newer version, bright yellow and obnoxious orange writing, but the book was a great read and so it was forgiven. He lifted it for her to see better. Rey left the pipe on the bench beside him and took a closer look.

“What's it about,” she asked. He stiffened, closing the book and settling it within his lap. He chewed at his cheek while she tilted her head, her eyes narrowed with impatience.

Kylo sighed, “I don't know if you'd like it very much.”

She laughed, and he felt it in his own chest, “I didn't ask if I'd like it – I asked what it was about.”

“It's about a boy,” he said, starting slow and trying his best to plan his words carefully, “and he's blamed for a crime he didn't commit.”

“That's sad,” she mused, her face dropping just a tad, “Why would you read something like that?”

He chuckled, “Many great books are sad. This one is actually quite funny.”

Confused, but content with his answer she returned to work. This time she busied herself on an old rotary phone stuck to the wall, calling a few people around the town and informing them that their cars were done. Kylo listened, pretending to read once he realized how many people she was calling. It was an impressive amount, and he wondered just how many were finished just today. She really was an oddity, so amazingly proficient that she shouldn't be real. He had spent a lot of time over the last several days wondering about how someone like her could have come to Jakku.

“I don’t read a lot,” she said suddenly, hanging up the receiver with a loud click. She busied herself, picking at scraps on a shelf beside her. She had her head hanging, like she couldn’t look him in the eye, “at least not real books, you know? I read a lot of manuals and stuff like that.”

Kylo stalled, not sure what to say only knowing that he wanted to say something, a _nything_. She looked lost, conflicted with her words and ready with immediate regret. He knew quickly that she was out of her depth and truly just trying as she could to make conversation. Her instincts were strange, reminiscent of his own, but bled with good intentions where his did not.

“Would you want to read?”

She nodded quickly, an embarrassed smile pinching her cheeks.

“Words take you away,” she said, her eyes gleaming, “even repair manuals do that. It’s easy to get pulled in, pretend you’re on the factory line or with the engineers creating everything. I can’t imagine what a real story would do.”

Somehow, in a simple moment, Kylo knew why he was back here. It was no longer as plain as a puzzle spread out across the floor, or the beginning of an old riddle. She had so pointedly explained something dear to him. She spoke with a beautiful conviction, a real enthusiasm for something she barely had but appreciated none the less. Sitting here all day, he understood why she wanted more; stuck working all day, fiddling with cars and spare parts like her life depended on these things coming back to life by her own hands. She was beautiful and wonderful and all too good for him and this wretched town.

He wanted her.

He wanted her with an uncoiling passion that he didn’t think was possible. He wanted her like the crooning of old love songs and Shakespeare’s sonnets. He wanted her like protagonists in terrible romantic comedies and old epics of long journeys and harrowing adventure. He’d never felt such a connection to anyone - never cared about knowing another person or desiring their approval. In that moment, he’d do anything to have her and never let her go.

He’d never wanted to be a hero before. It was too much expectation and frankly doing the right thing was never something he was good at. He was too abrasive, too headstrong and volatile. People were afraid of him. His own assistant, a man he’d worked with for years, still trembled in his presence like a fall leaf. He was never meant to be a hero. He wasn’t even a good person.

But... he wanted to be hers. He could feel her power like waves off of her, glimmering light for she truly was the sun; hot and fiery, lighting up the dark but threatening to incinerate anyone who got too close. So desperately, he wanted to burn.

Her destiny was so much more than this little town - it had to be. She could be great with the right circumstances and opportunity. He could give that to her. Giving up himself to propel her forward felt like the natural thing, and he had never wanted something so badly. He was a selfish man, but this was another level of greed and need.

For now, he could settle with this day. _For now_.

“How much do you have left to do today,” he asked. She was still fiddling with the spare parts; her hands couldn’t keep still.

“Not too much,” she muttered, “Mrs. Ahna and Mr. Bream are both coming by soon to pick up their cars. I have a few small things to fix up, and an old engine to strip.”

He nodded, but her eyes had become focused on the book still in his hands. Her gaze was brimming with longing. She shook herself from whatever dream that had captured her.

“I shouldn’t be too much longer. I’m sorry for how long you’ve waited.”

He didn’t say anything, unsure how to console her any further. She smiled softly at him, thankful, and turned to grab a handful of the parts from a box by his feet. She tentatively placed them on the workbench he sat by, spreading them out with care. She treated them all like glass. Then, she fished a tool box out of a drawer built into the bench and got to work quickly.

Kylo watched her for a little while; she didn’t notice, her brow crinkled in concentration. The thought was a passing one at first, a simple what-if that led to a stronger idea. His gaze drifted across her form, so focused and beautiful. He could curb one of her desires now if he wanted.

And he did.

He flipped back to the beginning of his book and read aloud as clear as he could. His voice felt unused and he was unsure as to the last time he’d talked so much before he met her. Maybe he never had. He could feel her shock but did his best to focus on the words in front of him. He’d get too flustered if he looked at her now, he knew it. If he could give her this now, then he would.

“ _It's hot as hell in Martirio, but the papers on the porch are icy with the news. Don't even try to guess who stood all Tuesday night in the road...”_

——————

Rey was confused.

Her time in Jakku had ingrained a sense of truth deep within her. People were innately and deeply cruel. She saw it all the time. She saw it in herself often. It felt like a hole within her; a dark place where all her hatred and envy lay churning just under her skin. She tried to be good, she wanted to be good. She refused to become like everyone around her, hardened and unloving, ignoring one another and sabotaging their work for their own gain. But that hole remained no matter how she tried.

She wasn't naive; she knew Jakku was different from the rest of the world. She had vague memories of a time before. They were just fragments, fuzzy little thoughts that seemed so real. She could remember a wooden frame around a dirty window with rain pouring. She could remember the green of an elm tree in front of a tiny blue house and a man hammering a hand-painted sign to the trunk. He had no face but he felt _right_.

Then there was nothing but sand. The little blue house turned into a corner of an attic, thick with dust and grime. There was no rain or trees with hand-painted signs and no man or woman who felt just right.

Her eyes drifted to Kylo. He was behind her now, she had finished with the spare parts and had moved straight on to stripping apart the engine Plutt had entrusted her with. It was a huge lump of garbage, everything had a thick, ruddy layer of rust that flaked off like old lead paint. She wasn’t sure that any of it was salvageable, but if she wanted to eat anything more than usual then it would have to be.

Kylo was focused, still reading aloud. He sounded nothing like the preacher down at the church house. Where the preacher was loud and boisterous, yelling at the congregation as if they were more unruly animals than people, Kylo was completely different. He looked almost serene when he read, even if his voice betrayed his nerves and awkwardness. Even when he smiled, which so far had been incredibly rare and out of practice, his brows were creased and he carried a heaviness that came from within. Now his face was clear from all else.

His face was something else entirely. As if his height and build didn't set him apart from anyone else she'd ever seen, his face was the most divergent thing about him. He looked like a black and white photograph, like the kind in Plutt's office, with his hair as dark as the desert nights and skin as pale as the moon. His clothes probably cost more money than she could fathom, all rich dark fabric and they fit like they were made for him. They probably were, she mused. With how easily he'd thrown 5,000 dollars at Plutt like it was piss covered pennies, she couldn't deny the possibility.

He was oddly alluring beyond it all.

Rey had never found another person all that attractive. Jakku was mostly full of aging men and women, their bodies frail and beaten by the sand. There was no one truly around her age anymore. There had been once, but everyone had moved on from the dyspeptic little town the moment they could. Most ran to Vegas to make a fortune and live their days in luxury. Some came back years later – they never lasted long. Those were the times that the church was busiest and Mr. Sephar made the most money at the funeral parlour. She liked to hope that the ones who never came back did make it.

There were children though and she felt closest to them. Many families couldn't afford much, such was the way of Jakku, and she often heard them rustling in the junkyard at night trying to pillage and clean as much as they could to bring to Plutt in the morning. She supposed in a way, Plutt was the most generous of all. He never turned down a sale and he paid in food which was what everyone truly needed most, even if he gave as little as he saw fit.

She tried not to get to attached to anyone. It hurt to watch people leave. She couldn't imagine how much more it would hurt to watch someone leave who she cared for. She'd done it once, and she swore she'd never do it again. The misty figures were more like concepts now. They left with kisses pressed to her cheek and promises of coming back as soon they could.

Kylo was a decidedly nice distraction. She’d never had company other than Plutt in the garage and his presence was a different thing completely. Kylo was an intimidating man, he unnerved her and sent her skin tingling with expectation. She had no idea what she expected but she knew something was happening or coming or _something!_

She hadn’t felt such excitement in... ever. Perhaps it was the promise of food - real food. If anyone had shown up and offered her the same, she supposed she’d feel the same.

Kylo’s voice had stopped for a brief moment as it had every time he had needed to flip the pages. She chanced a look back at him. She was met with his own eyes looking at her intensely. It was something she’d already grown accustomed to in their short time together. She could tell that doing anything halves was not in his nature.

He quickly averted his eyes back down, his cheeks pink and embarrassed, and he began to read again. It took him a few sentences to get his bearings back and Rey couldn’t help but think that such a hulk of a man flustering about was rather cute. Cute was certainly not the first thing she thought to describe him. Brash, a little rude, but in this moment cute.

She swatted at her pants just in case he’d been staring at a random patch of grime. Part of her knew better though. His eyes had been focused on her and not her pants. She couldn’t imagine why. She was certainly nothing special - she was a nobody. There was nothing all that interesting about her she mused.

He truly did confuse her greatly.

——————

By the time the last of Rey's work was done, Kylo had read far past the half way point and it was nearly dark outside. He hadn't realized how fast the time had gone by until both Mrs. Ahna and Mr. Bream picked up their cars. He heard Mrs. Ahna promise to bring the pie tomorrow, and from the corner of his eye could see Rey flail with glee before she caught herself and calmed down.

He stopped reading when she stepped in front of him, standing just out of reach with her hands jammed into her home-made pockets. He closed the cover and looked up at her. She smiled softly and bounced on her toes.

“I'm done,” she whispered giddily.

Her stomach, then, gurgled as if in affirmation. Kylo chocked back a witty remark when he saw how her embarrassed she'd suddenly become. Her hand drifted to her belly and held it there as if she could soothe it's protests away.

He stood up, his knees cracking under the sudden strain. His entire backside began to tingle – he hadn't even noticed that he'd gone practically numb from the waist down. He put aside the books, leaving them both atop the workbench, so he could stretch. His back sounded like bubble wrap, popping loudly as he rolled his spine into place. He grimaced openly. Rey just watched, clearly intrigued.

“Shall we go to dinner then,” he asked.

She nodded with an enthusiasm that Kylo thought could give her whiplash. They made their way out of the garage through a back door that led straight into the junkyard outside. The whole place looked like a graveyard, most things warped beyond recognition and rusted like it was a new coat of paint. Rey led him out through a wooden gate that had seen better days. He couldn't help but stare at her back as she walked. There was a lightness in her step that wasn’t there before and it elated him that he was he cause. Maybe not him as a person but something he was doing for her and it still raised butterflies in his stomach.

“The diner is the only restaurant in town,” she said, turning around and walking backwards, “I hope that’s alright.”

“Anywhere you want to go is fine,” Kylo told her. She flushed and ducked down to keep her red cheeks at bay.

“I’ve never actually gone before,” she admitted, her gait had turned into more of a backwards skip, “I’ve wanted to for a long time. So... thank you. You really don’t have to do all this.”

She talked about going out to eat as if it were the epitome of an experience. Though she was giving him a way out, he knew this meant more to her than he could understand. He had noticed she was thin, it was impossible not to see, though he hadn’t realized just how thin she truly was until then. The lean muscle had covered some of it up with shape but her clothes hung off of her like a child in her mother’s clothing. A knot formed at the back of his throat so tight it winded him.

He found his voice, “I want to.”

He eased with her smile, so wide and bright. She turned around and led them the rest of the way in silence. No one else was out on the streets of Jakku. It was almost pitch dark out now. The only light was from the moon and the few store fronts that had old gas lanterns out front like makeshift street lamps. It cast the town in an eerie warm glow. Kylo was hypnotized as the shadows and light danced across Rey’s body as she walked. Her hips seemed to sway with the flickering firelight; the shadows casting patterns across her back that he wanted to trace with his fingers.

By the time they entered the diner, Rey’s excitement had bubbled up and left her vibrating beside him. The diner was a dusty old place with copper-green walls and a slick topcoat of grease. He hadn’t spent much time in here the last time; he walked in, ordered a coffee and water which he both chugged back and left in a hurry to find the library. The only waitress in the place came up without a welcoming presence. She was an older woman, just on the cusp of elderly with deep lines on her face and a hitch to her step. Her uniform looked old and stained.

She glanced at Rey and her face betrayed her surprise at seeing her. She turned to him next, and she eyed him like he had come to expect in Jakku. He knew he stood out from he town and that everyone, even Rey, had looked at his clothing with an appraising glare. It was an immediate judgment he couldn’t blame. Jakku was the most desolate place he’d seen in person. If they could get away with it, he’s sure they’d try rob him blind.

The waitress waved them over to a booth near the window that faced the Jakku streets. He supposed it was probably the nicest seat in the house even if the view was dismal. Above them, the fluorescent light flickered on its last legs.

Rey was enthralled, her hands smoothing down the moth-eaten table cloth. The smile across her face pinched her dimples into perfect dips in her cheeks.

The waitress cleared her throat with a sound that resembled smokers lung and slapped some plastic menus on the table. They were covered in crappy photos of plates of food with only a handful of dishes listed. Rey’s eye lit up and her mouth dropped just enough that he could see the pink of her tongue. He could almost hear her salivating.

“Anything to drink,” the waitress wheezed. She stared Kylo down as Rey continued to faun over the menu.

“Coffee,” he said starkly.

The waitress glowered, raising her nose up at him. Kylo rolled his eyes and just turned his focus to trying to find something that wouldn’t kill him on the menu. She finally turned to Rey and before she could speak Rey was already talking.

“Water,” she squeaked, “please.”

The waitress groaned unhappily and turned on her heel back towards the kitchen. When she passed through the swinging door, Kylo slumped in relief. He already hated that woman and had a feeling she was going to spit in his coffee.

“What are you going to get,” Rey asked. Her voice was barely above a whisper, her eyes reverently roaming the menu like she’s been presented with ambrosia.

“I don’t know,” he answered, “what would you like?”

“All of it,” she laughed - he could feel the tone of truth in the sentiment but his mouth quickly turned dry when she smiled at him over the menus edge, completely ruining his train of thought, “I don’t know what to pick.”

Kylo stares at the menu, trying his best to read it between glances at her. Most items were blacked out or had contingencies sloppily hand-written beside them. The whole thing was an indiscriminate mess.

The waitress came back with the coffee and water, placing them down carefully despite her obvious disregard for the whole affair. Rey’s eyes went wide and the moment the glass had hit the table, her hands were around it. Her first sip was long but once she took her first swallow the rest of the glass quickly followed until all that was left was the plastic cup. Kylo realized he was staring when she suddenly ducked down in embarrassment.

“I was thirsty,” was all she said.

Thankfully, the waitress interrupted before Kylo could think of what to say in response to that.

“What do you want?”

“Oh, uhhh… what would you recommend,” he asked.

The waitress sighed, obviously put out at having to talk to him. Kylo couldn’t care less about what she wanted. The point of the night was Rey, and the faster he could get this woman out of his hair while also ordering something that wouldn’t wreck his digestive tract the better.

“The hot hamburger is decent.”

“Then I’ll have that.”

The waitress turned to Rey, “And you?”

“It all looks so good,” Rey chimed. The waitress looked unimpressed, but Kylo swore he saw a twinge of happy shock flash in her eyes. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one immune to her. He wasn’t surprised, but his chest still tightened at the thought. That dark possessive part of him wanted her smile all to himself. He knew he was being ridiculous. Despite being attracted to her like Icarus to the sun, he had no claim on her.

“I think I’ll have the meatloaf,” she stated, collecting hers and Kylo’s menus to hand back to the waitress herself.

The waitress then left without a word. They both heard her yelling from the back when she delivered their orders. She had a quick spat with whoever in the back would be cooking their food before everything finally went silent.

Suddenly, Kylo had no idea what to do. Reading had been one thing, it had been difficult but the words were plain in front of him and it was easy to fall into a pattern. Now, his brain had gone blank. There was so much he wanted to know. She still held so much mystery to him and everything he’d learned so far had been so enthralling that he wished she would just start speaking and lay out everything for him so he wouldn’t have to make a fool of himself stumbling over his words.

Maybe it would be better if he didn’t overthink it. He was already anxious, his foot tapping against the grimy tile beneath them. She was looking at him now. She was conflicted as well, her expression a mirror of his own. He just had to do it, say something. Ask her anything.

“What are you doing in Jakku?”

Apparently, he had about as much tact as a drunken frat boy. He wasn’t sure what happened to the easy talk they had in her truck to pick up his car - things had been easy when it was all new and easy to ask the usual small talk questions. To her credit, Rey didn’t seemed phased, as if she had been waiting for him to ask this whole time. She picked at her nails while her brain began to turn, obviously trying to find the best way to answer him. He was mortified. Her eyes had betrayed her and he saw the hurt that lay underneath her skin. Of all the things to say, of course it would be something that caused her pain. He was such a fool.

“It’s only temporary,” she said, picking her words carefully. She wasn’t looking at him, her eyes trained on the wall right past him, “I’m waiting.”

“Waiting,” he asked.

She nodded, “For my family. They’ll be back – one day.”

Kylo’s heart dropped straight into his stomach. His throat was tight, something akin to anaphylactic shock, and it was suddenly so hard to breathe. He knew those words. He knew those words so personally that he wasn’t sure it was really her that said them. Logically, he knew she was alone. He gathered as much with how long she worked and how Plutt treated her like he owned her very life. But, this wasn’t the reason he’d expected. Hatred burned up his throat. Whoever left her here didn’t deserve her.

She was trying to stay stoic, unmoving as if she’d only been waiting for someone to comeback from a jog. It was much longer than that - he could see it in her. The crestfallen heave of her chest and the misplaced hope she desperately cling to, they were too familiar. His chest ached in a sick nostalgia.

“Don’t look at me like that,” she spat. She was glaring at him beyond the hurt.

“Like how?”

“Like I’m pitiful,” she said quietly, her voice was betraying her, “I don’t want you to look at me that way.”

“Am I looking at you like that,” he asked. He knew he wasn’t. She was so far above any pity he could muster. He pitied that ones who left her for missing out on her life and all she had become. But Rey, she, if anything, had become the most remarkable person he’d ever met. She surpassed the geniuses and political experts full of world knowledge, and the security guards under his command who risked their lives for Mr. Snoke. She was stronger than them all, stronger than she knew.

“No. No, you’re not,” she acquiesced.

He felt the little smile across its mouth as it formed. It felt comfortable and like it belonged there. She smiled back, small as well, and not without that newly disturbed sadness, but there nonetheless.

“You don’t smile a lot, do you,” she questioned.

It was a weird thing to say because he felt like he’d been smiling a hell of a lot with her. Her head cocked to side, her brain trying to unravel him. He couldn’t remember the last time someone was so focused on him. It was awkward and embarrassing but Rey had no sense of that.

“I guess not,” he admitted, “I don’t have a lot to smile about.”

“You should smile more. Even when it’s hard. Sometimes, that makes things just a little bit better and that’s enough.”

He smirked for her benefit more than his own. Her face brightened and he immediately was flushed with tingling warmth straight through his body. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to this. Everything was new with her – they were barely past acquaintances - but he knew that these feelings weren’t likely to go away. Maybe they would with time and distance and the rush of lightning through his body at her every move would go with the storm. He wasn’t sure it was so simple. The idea of leaving at the end of the night and going back home was borderline depressing.

“Enough of this sad stuff,” Rey said, slapping her hands on the table for good measure and starling Kylo out of his reverie, “what’s your favourite colour?”

He blinked, “Excuse me?”

“You heard me! Favourite colour, stat,” she demanded happily.

“Black, I guess,” he murmured. She snorted, covering her mouth to keep her giggles down. He wished she wouldn’t.

“You guess? You don’t know for sure?”

He shrugged, “thinking about colours isn’t something I do a lot of.”

“What do you do a lot of then,” she asked, “since you don’t spend all your time thinking about colours or smiling.”

He chucked under his breath, the real answer to her question wasn’t nearly as exciting as he knew she hoped, “I work.”

Her lips pursed unhappily, “That’s it? You work and read?”

“Yeah,” he admitted, realizing just how pathetic that sounded, “Basically. My work doesn’t leave a lot of time for anything else.”

She hummed noncommittally, “Black is a boring colour.”

“I like it. Are you judging my answers now?”

“Yes,” she said, sticking her tongue out a him. His mouth went dry. It took all his restraint not to leap across the table and kiss her senseless. Fuck, what the hell was happening to him?

“Oh yeah,” He smirked, “what’s your favourite colour then?”

She smiled bashfully, and ducked her head, “Yellow – like the sun.”

“You live in the desert and your favourite colour is the sun,” he said, enough sarcasm dripping off his tongue that he could almost taste it.

She sneered at him, though it had no real animosity behind it, “No one can control it, and every night it disappears and it even when it feels like it may never come back, it always does.”

Then, the door to the diner opened with a crash and three middle aged men came stumbling in. They were short and their skin was brown and withered from the sun like the rest of Jakku. They spoke in another language he couldn’t place, but it was harsh and ugly sounding. They reeked of cheap alcohol and Kylo wrinkled his nose in distaste.

When they caught hold of Rey in their sights, the leader of the group made a beeline straight forwards their table. The smell was even stronger up close. Rey had become still, her hands fisted on the table with white knuckles. Her jaw was set in anger and the piercing stare she gave the man was near deadly.

_“Ko tu šeit dari, mazu žurku?”_

Judging by Rey’s face, he got the gist of what the man was saying. The man looked to Kylo and smirked. He stood up straight, cocky as a rooster, and gave her a sleazy smile. He was missing most of his teeth and the ones that remained were rotten and yellow. Rey bared her teeth back at him in a snarl that could only been seen as feral.

The man’s smile merely broadened, _“Es saprotu, tagad. Mazas žurkas ir kļuvušas mazliet kleitas.”_

Suddenly, with a speed that she shouldn’t have possessed, Rey’s hands moved across the table, grabbed hold of her knife, and stabbed it straight into the table perfectly between the man’s fingers. The two at the door were whispering to each other nervously and slowly back away back towards outside.

The man, visibly shaken, spoke in an unnerved whisper, _“Tu palaidi garām.”_

 _“Nē ,_ ” Rey growled, _“Es to nedarīja.”_

The man backed away quickly, rushing from the restaurant while muttering obscenities under his breath. The door closed behind him with a clang and at the noise she visibly slumped down with relief. He watched as she took calming breathes, looking between her and the knife jutting out from the table.

“That was Teedo,” she muttered, her eyes closed as she sighed, “He has no respect for anyone.”

Kylo was in awe. The incident really shouldn’t have turned him on as much as it did. She was the most beguiling thing he’d ever seen. It mortified him to know he was hard under the table. He could only hope his boner would be gone before they left.

“You speak another language,” he said, breathless.

She nodded, suddenly looking embarrassed by the whole display, “Enough to get my point across.”

The waitress then came out from the kitchen carrying two plates on her arms. She placed them on the table without much care and left immediately without a word. The food in front of him was by no means appetizing. He hadn’t been sure what exactly a ‘hot hamburger’ was; he been just so focused on sending the woman away earlier that he would have agreed to anything. Looking at it now, he still wasn’t exactly sure what it was. There was a lump in the middle of the plate which was smothered in chunky brown sauce that was probably meant to be gravy and a roll of bread that without touching it he knew was hard and stale.

Rey, on the other hand, looked like she could cry from happiness. She had a look of adoration on her face and her mouth quivered in anticipation. She wrenched her knife from the table and eagerly cut into her meatloaf. It looked more like a giant grey mess than food, but she immediately stuck a large piece in her mouth.

The moan that left her was practically erotic. Her eyes had fluttered shut and her head had fallen back in complete pleasure. Kylo watched as she devoured her meal, unable to rip away his eyes from watching her. His body throbbed as she continued to moan and mewl with eat bite, the sounds growing more and more euphoric as she went. Kylo gulped.

There was no way he wasn’t going to be hard the rest of the night.

As she finished up her slice, she moved on to the roll and Kylo finally managed to try and stomach his own meal. There was almost no taste to the mush in front of him, and the meat patty hiding under the gravy-like substance definitely didn’t taste like beef or pork. He tried no to think about what it could be instead and chocked the majority of it down by the time Rey finished savoring her bread.

He caught Rey staring at his plate, licking her lips thoughtfully. He really wasn’t sure how much he could eat before it made him sick, and she looked so forlorn and wishful. He pushed the plate in her direction and she gaped at him in shock.

“Go. Eat,” he said.

She shook her head at him, flabbergasted, “I couldn’t. This is yours.”

“And now it’s yours,” he stated, and her eyes grew wide and watery at the food in front of her.

For a moment, he was scared he actually would cry. Instead, she picked her knife and fork back up and dug straight in. She ate the rest of his plate with just as much vigor as hers, barely taking the time to breath between stuffing her mouth full of gravy and meat. Kylo’s cock pulsated, jerking against his pants, as the moans from before started up again. The look on her face was practically orgasmic as she dipped his roll in the gravy and used it as a spoon to scoop it into her mouth.

She finished quickly, as he knew she would, and he immediately missed the moans coming from her pretty mouth.

“Thank you,” she said, the words ghosting with a satisfied breath. She looked like she had just cum, the dreamy look on her face as she stared at him from across the table with half-lidded eyes and a parted mouth. Kylo couldn’t remember being so turned on in his life.

“You’re welcome,” was all he could say.

——————

They stayed in the diner a little longer after they finished eating. Kylo had another coffee and Rey chugged two more glasses of water in conversation lapses. It was easier now. As terrible as his first question was, it turned out to be the ice breaker he needed. She talked so openly about everything. She was aware her circumstances were awful but seemed at ease with the whole thing, apathetic and talking about everything as it was and that was how it was going to be. He liked the way she shone when she talked about things she actually enjoyed, things beyond that dumb garage and Jakku.

They left when it looked like the waitress might murder them if they didn’t. Kylo walked Rey back to the garage, though they made a quick stop up the road the drop his books back off at the library. The time strolling down the road was comfortable. Conversation flowed and he told her about life back in New York and about the world. She was giddy as he explained Central Park and the miles of trees and grass.

She rambled on about the cars in the town, how she was always fixing them because assholes like Teedo would break into them and steal parts for Plutt. The upside was it kept her busy and if she was busy the days went by faster.

He liked this. A lot. He liked how uninhibited she was and how she just spouted information like a fountain. He liked how he felt he could trust her, like he could tell her anything and she would simply know and it would be as simple as that. He realized he’d told her a lot more about himself than anyone else knew. It was nice to know that at least someone did.

Maybe it was easy because he knew he’d likely never see her again. He’d be leaving for New York once they got back to the garage. It couldn’t put off driving back any longer. He was already behind schedule and he was due back at work Wednesday morning.

They reached the garage far too soon. Kylo insisted on at least walking her in. She pouted at him.

“I’m not a child. I can walk in by myself,” she stated.

Kylo nodded, contently, “I know, but it’s the gentlemanly thing to do.”

“City people are weird,” she said, letting him follow as she walked through the back gate again.

He stalled when he saw a small round lump at the back door. It was too dark to really make out, but the creature was whining and pawing at the door, it’s nails making scrapping sounds against the wood. Rey gasped and rushed over to it.

“BeeBee! Oh BeeBee, I’m so sorry,” she called, worried, “I hope you haven't been waiting long!”

A little dog limped over out of the shadows and she crouched down to take him into her arms. Kylo approached slowly behind her, not wanting to startle the little thing. She was hushing him softly as he cried into her shoulder.

“Hungry, huh,” she cooed, and BeeBee whined eagerly at her, “C’mon let’s go get you something.”

Kylo couldn’t help but follow them both back into the garage. BeeBee was trotting at her heels, happily attempting circles. His limp was prominent in his step. He was moving too fast to really get a look at, now rolling on the floor behind her, panting excitedly as Rey shuffled through a hole in the wall. She pulled out an old tin bowl and a small bag of dog food. He had learned how much food meant to her tonight. Watching her happily feed this little dog made his heart swell until it ached.

“There you go. Eat up.”

BeeBee immediately went to work chowing down the kibble in the bowl. His enthusiasm rivaled Rey’s as he ate. Finally still, Kylo got a good look at him. The little guy looked like a Collie mix and had blotches of orange fur spread across his otherwise white fur. One of his ear had flopped over while the other still stood tall. He was a matted mess, his fur obviously overgrown but it wasn’t too the point of danger, just enough that it must have been bothersome in the heat.

His back leg though, Kylo recoiled as he got his first good glimpse at it. His left bag leg was mangled, nearly bitten off by some predator out in the desert that the little dog just managed to fight off. His paw was crusted and his foot was hanging on by nearly nothing.

Rey was busy petting his back as he ate. BeeBee was undeterred by his mobility issues, and kept pushing the bowl around as he ate. He dragged his dead back paw as he went.

“He showed up about a month ago,” Rey wasn’t looking at him, still focusing on BeeBee and scratching him on the rump, “I don’t know where he came from. There’s no one around that can help him. If he kept running around in the open – there’s some people here who wouldn’t hesitate if they hadn’t eaten.”

Kylo felt sick to his stomach. He hated people, always had, but this was a dog. A creature with whom he had no quarrel and who had no say in what cruel people did with his life. Animals didn’t deserve the world they were thrust into. This little dog especially.

“C’mon Bee,” she called, taking the food and bowl and hiding it back in the wall. BeeBee whined and pawed at her thigh, obviously unhappy. Rey laughed, turning to scratch his head, “If you get more now, there won’t be any for tomorrow.”

The dog huffed, and waddled back out the door. Kylo listened as he trotted through the sand and caught a glimpse of him climbing the stairs to an old school bus in the Junkyard and disappearing inside.

Rey stood and brushed the sand and dirt from her pants, “I guess you’re on your way then.”

Kylo nodded, solemnly, “I am.”

Rey approached him until she was only feet away. He could feel the heat radiating off of her. Even as night Jakku was hotter than it had any right to be, but it felt like lying in the sun when he stood beside her. She picked at the hem of her shirt, tugging at unraveling strands.

“It was nice to meet you, Kylo Ren.”

It was the first time she’d said his name outloud. It sounded sweet coming off her tongue, so much sweeter than anyone else who had ever said it. She was biting the inside of her cheek nervously, her eyes drifting to the floor by his feet.

“It was nice to meet you too, Rey.”

She nodded, looking like she didn’t quite believe him. Turning around, she led him to his car outside. She tossed him his keys from the rack, as she had done once before. He smiled at her, trying his best to be comforting. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

“How much do I owe you,” he asked, “for the oil change?”

Rey shook her head, “Nothing. You overpaid last time, I can’t ask you to pay more.”

“What about Plutt,” his brows furrowed as he spoke. Rey continued to shake her head in disbelief.

“Nevermind him,” she said, “He probably doesn't even know you stayed. I’ll tell him there was nothing wrong and you left.”

He didn’t believe her. His car had been just outside the garage the whole time, there was no way Plutt wouldn’t have seen it out there from where he had been working inside. Still, he couldn’t fight her now, no matter how he wanted to. The last thing he wanted was to end this day like the last time he left. He’d sneak a cheque into the mailbox outside and hope she didn’t see it the next day. Maybe then she wouldn’t find herself in any trouble from the grotesque man.

“Good-bye then,” he muttered.

She nodded, not looking him in the eye, “Good-bye.”

Kylo got into his car and buckled in. He watched Rey in his mirror as he turned the engine on and the car roared to life around him. The check engine light was indeed off now. He really had no reason to stay.

He rolled down the window and stuck his head out. Rey’s own head whipped up, confused, and watched him.

“Be safe,” he called.

“Drive carefully,” she called back.

He pulled out of the driveway and left Jakku. He had barely watched the road as he drove through town, waiting until Plutt’s garage was a speck and he couldn’t see it anymore. A stone had developed in his stomach. Never seeing her again wasn’t an option. He needed to return to New York, back to his apartment and the First Order, but he knew this wasn’t over. It couldn’t be.

He’d see her again. This wasn’t the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book Kylo is reading is "Vernon God Little" by D.B.C. Pierre. It's a great book, but certainly not for everyone. It's a dark satire from the point of view of a teenage boy becoming the scapegoat when his best friend goes to the school with a gun and starts shooting. It's dark and messed up and really funny - so yeah, not for everyone, but if that's up your alley I highly recommend it.
> 
> The language that Teedo speaks is Latvian. I tried to find a translator or something close for Teedo speak but couldn't. The closest thing is the transliterations from the novelizations but that wasn't much help. So, I hopped on Google Translate and tried to see if any of the clearer words Rey says belong to any other language. Of the words I used, only one popped up and it was Latvian.
> 
> Also, I DO NOT think that Latvian is an ugly language! Teedo is just a gross asshole, so it sounds that way to Kylo.
> 
> The conversation with Rey translates basically to this:
> 
> Teedo: What are you doing here, little rat? I understand now, the little rat has become a little whore.  
> *Rey stabs the table*  
> Teedo: You missed.  
> Rey: No, I didn't.
> 
> Next time on Kylo Ren still has a boner: Kylo returns home to New York and goes back to work. It goes about as well as is expected.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo returns home to New York and is haunted by his feelings for Rey. Spoiler alert: going back to work does not help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! Over 100 kudos! You all make my little heart sing! I honestly never thought people would enjoy this so much, but I'm so happy you do!
> 
> I'm not particularly fond of this chapter but it was a whole lot of plot that needed to happen. It can't all be mushy gushy Reylo, although a significant part still is. I literally just finished writing this too, so there's probably a fair amount of mistakes but I'll go back and fix them at another time - I just wanted to get this posted so bad.
> 
> Also! I've got a new Reylo story out! It's another modern AU, this time involving Rey and Kylo in a K-1 visa situation and it's arguably even fluffier than this. So check it out if that sounds good to you!
> 
> We start to earn our rating here. This is for all you other Reylo pervs out there. 
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by: "Moonlight Desires" by Gowan.  
> (How many of these songs are going to be 80's love ballads? Probably most of them.)

His eyes were closed as he pressed sloppy kisses along her the hard plane of her ankle. Her legs were already trembling under his lips, trying desperately to rub the dribbling mess between her legs away. Tanned and sweet, her skin was soft under his mouth like satin. He nipped his way up her calf, purposely leaving little indents that would purple by the morning. She squealed when his tongue darted out to sweep the back her knee and it went straight to his cock.

He was already harder than he’d ever been in his life, rocking at the bed and trying his best to keep his erection in check. He wanted to savour this; the way her tiny feet pressed into the bony planes of his shoulder, her body moving of it’s own accord, shaking and writhing underneath him, her quiet moans filling his ears. He hadn’t even touched her yet, but when he looked up at her, teeth scraping along her thigh, he could see her slick overflowing down her slit and pooling on the sheets below. He growled, bucking hard into the sheets, and biting hard near the junction of her thigh. Surprised, She yelped, flinching away for a moment before his tongue was laving at the spot, soothing the already bruising skin.

He left her thigh and she whined. So spoiled, he swatted at her other leg before starting over at the new ankle once more. He watched her face as he kissed up her leg this time. Her head was thrown back into the pillows, jaw jutted out into the air, and her mouth open in bliss. Her couldn’t see her eyes, but she was so enraptured, he couldn’t take that away from her.

He spread her legs further, his hands almost circling each of her thighs completely. She was so small compared to him, most people were, but every part of her fit him as tailored match – like she was made to fit every part of him and she to be touched under his hands alone.

When he reached the end of her thigh, this time he couldn’t hold back. With little grace, he licked a broad stripe up the length of her cunt, ending with a rough flick over her clit. Her back bowed with a howl, hands fisted up in her own hair. He smiled against her, kissing at her lips and letting his nose bump against her swollen clit lightly. If she had been trembling before, she felt like an earthquake now. She was wound up like a toy about to burst, already on the precipice.

He grabbed her hands and led them to his head. She grabbed onto his hair eagerly, trying to angle her hips down and push him towards where she needed him. Already, her cunt had covered his mouth and chin in her essence. She tugged at his hair, crying out in need.

“Please, please, please, please, _please_! So close!”

He hummed against her, ghosting over her clit with small pecks, “Patience sweetheart.”

He felt her frustration in her wail. So desperate, she tried to grind against his face only for him to pull away and cluck his tongue at her. Her grip on his hair tightened and he couldn't help the moan that tumbled loudly out of him as a shiver of white hot tingles ran his spine. He could almost feel the smirk on her lips, but it didn’t last long.

He shot forward, capturing her clit between his lips and sucking hard. She keened, nearly sitting up in a spasm of ecstasy. He drove his tongue into her, feeling in delight as her walls fluttered and she came. Her thighs were tight around her ears, blocking out all sound but her desperate cries. He could hardly breathe, his face crushed up against her pussy, trying to keep the waves of pleasure going as long as he could. It didn’t matter. She was a goddess like this, pure pleasure and light radiating off of her in waves he was all too willingly to drown in.

He couldn’t help himself. His was dizzy from lack of air, his brain caught between passing out and a dizzying buzz. His hips bucked hard and just as her thighs collapsed around him, he came, gasping with fresh air and staring straight at her.

Her hazel eyes were hooded and glowing. The mess of chestnut hair around her surrounded her face like renaissance angels and with flushed cheeks and in post-orgasmic haze, she looked like the desert queen she deserved to be.

“Kylo,” she moaned. His cock made a valiant twitch against the wet sheets.

“Yes,” he asked.

When she opened her mouth again, all that came out was a high-pitched electric beeping.

 

_Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep..._

 

Kylo woke with a jolt. His head throbbed in protest, suddenly wrenched from much needed sleep he wasn’t done with. Beside him, his alarm screamed, every beep sending a pulse through his ears like hammering a nail slowly into his temple. He stretched to reach his nightstand drawer, desperate for the pain-killers he kept, only to freeze as a shock of oversensitive pleasure rammed him.

No. No fucking way. Not again.

Kylo didn’t need to check his pants to know what he happened. He could feel the sticky mess cooling across his groin, clinging to the fabric of his pants. He was already regretting not changing when he got home. He had sweat through his button-up sometime last night and now his pants would have to be dry cleaned.

The dream was a hazy blur, but he didn’t need to remember anything about it to know it all. His dreams had been the same each night since leaving Jakku. They all ended the same embarrassing way - waking up with a lap full of cum. He was cursed with snippets remaining with him far into the morning light. Pictures of golden skin and Jackson Pollack freckles, pink dusted flesh bruised from his heavy attentions, and eyes that watered in pleasure.

He hadn’t dealt with his body revolting against him since puberty. That was a mess of a time he had hoped he’d never experience again. And yet here he was – reverted to a teenage boy, a slave to his body, and completely out of his depth. He hated it. He yearned for control. He liked his routine and the comfort of knowing exactly what to do and what was needed of him.

Work would help, he reasoned. He had a lot to do and perhaps it would be better if he got back to it earlier than he had anticipated. Dumping his soiled clothes on the floor, Kylo made his way to the bathroom and began his day.

——————

First Order headquarters was on Mr. Snoke’s personal property. His guest house had long been renovated into offices. It was only marginally smaller than the main house, a looming classical mansion of grey brick. Despite being gorgeous, the inside all dark varnished wood, crown molding, and hand carved furniture, the offices had an air of professionalism that betrayed the surroundings. There was little talking, certainly no water cooler talk, and people constantly rushing back and forth with papers and important documents for the supervisors.

Mister Snoke rarely attended the daily grind, preferring to stay in his house and contact the party by phone. Kylo was one of the few allowed in the main abode to see him, along with a handful of leaders within the First Order.

Everyone stopped when Kylo walked through the front door into the foyer, stalling for a moment to stare in shock for a moment at his return. It only took a measured glare for everyone to turn back to work for fear of retribution.

‘Good,’ he thought. There wasn’t much time before Mr. Snoke officially announced his candidacy for president. There was more than enough work to keep them all busy until the elections and onward. He was already behind because of Hux’s stupid ploy.

Kylo stood like stone, watching intently at the bustling. Cassandra Phasma, a woman of incredible height and stature in charge of hiring and training, was off in a corner lecturing several sheep-like interns huddled in front of her and shaking. Everyone else in the room was on their way somewhere else in the house, charging up and down the main stairway in herds of paper and black suits.

Suddenly, Kylo was pushed forward from a hard jolt to the back and a rush of searing hot liquid poured down his neck. He winced, grounding himself and quickly ripping his jacket off his shoulders. The coat dripped a brown puddle onto the floor. Someone in the room gasped, he didn’t know who, he didn’t care who. His back burned, and it was leaking down into his pants.

Livid, Kylo spun on his heels and came face to face with one of Phasma’s interns. The young man looked terrified, dark skin flushed, and immediately shrunk back as Kylo faced him. The tray of coffee he’s been carrying was spread across the floor. A large swamp of hot brown liquid was left by their shoes. Kylo took a step back to avoid ruining his.

Behind him, Phasma bellowed across the room, “FN-2187!”

The man apologized profusely under his breath and ran over to Phasma and the group of interns. Her voice was harsh and unmovable. Soon, the herd of interns ran off with assignments, frightened beyond belief. Happy as they left, Phasma stomped over to him – Kylo wasn’t sure if she could do anything but stomp. Tall people problems he was very accustomed to as well.

Without greeting, she walked to the back of him and poked his shirt. It was still warm and stuck further against his back where she touched. He heard her huff from behind him.

“At least you change anyway.”

Kylo rolled his eyes, “Not the point.”

“FN-2187 is on janitor duty now,” she stated, walking back around to face him, “until the Christmas party.”

“That is a little comforting. Unless he starts spilling dirty water everywhere.”

Phasma clicked her tongue, then turned around and left promptly. Kylo picked his jacket up off the floor and held it away from his body as he made his way to the back of the house. At least Phasma was right, he did have to change before meeting up with his security team. He didn’t like the idea of wearing his uniform home but didn’t have much of a choice now.

He changed in the back room quickly, happy to finally be out of his coffee stained clothes. He stretched his arms above his head and his felt far too good as his spine popped. By now, the rest of his team should be in the training room in the basement. The conference had given him time to go over new drills before he ultimately became distracted by his thoughts of Rey.

He wondered idly what she was doing back in Jakku. He hoped she’d gotten her pie by now. He smiled mutely to himself as he walked down the stairs to the basement. Perhaps she did and shared it with that little dog of hers. Considering how she ate, her fingers and face would probably have ended up white and sticky with marshmallow cream. He quickly stopped that train of thought when sticky and white quickly transformed his thoughts into something far less innocent than pie.

His momentary happiness, something that still felt very odd in his chest to be feeling at all, faded as he turned the corner. His team, jokingly called his knights, were busy with warm ups at the end of the room. What truly pissed him off was Armitage Hux, standing tall and with military rigidness in the middle of the room. Kylo scowled – this was _his_ room, _his_ space! The red-headed prick had no right to be in here.

“Ren,” he greeted, tipping his chin up. He looked more like a snotty weasel than the blue-blood he was trying to portray.

“What are you doing in here,” Kylo demanded, storming over to Hux and pulling his body up into his full height. He dwarfed Hux despite him being also being fairly tall, and it filled him with pride to see the man purse his lips in distaste.

“I came to see how the conference went,” he said, “Was it to your liking?”

Kylo’s glare deepened, “You know exactly how useful it was.” Then, his mind burst with images of dimples and toothy smiles, grease-stained finger tips and messy hair, “But yes, I found certain aspects very enjoyable.”

Hux visibly deflated, “You’re being serious?”

“Yes,” Kylo smirked, “I am. Now, I have things to catch up on and you need to get out of my way.”

Hux chewed his cheek, pissed and red faced. He left quickly and finally was left in peace with his team. They all turned and looked at him expectantly. Kylo straightened his shirt and joined them all in the work-out space. He picked up near by dumbbells and the rest of the room went back to work.

——————

Something felt wrong in Jakku.

Everything looked the same. The same daily grind that had filled everyone’s days for as long as she could remember (maybe as long as Jakku had existed) was usual and unexciting. The sand around smelt the same, hot and dry. Someone had pilfered Mr. Byre’s old Jeep in the middle of the night, sold the parts to Plutt in the morning and by half way to noon, Plutt had sold them back to Mr. Byre for double the price. It was hot, she was sweaty with a few new burns across her knuckles, BeeBee was busy hiding in the junkyard shade until dinner came. Everything was the same.

Except it wasn’t.

Rey recognized the hurt in herself immediately. Loneliness had been her constant companion since her parents had left, but overtime that feeling had dulled and she had become accustomed to waking up alone and had long since stopped crying herself to sleep. It was a waste of water and so even her tears had become too precious to waste. She never forgot, though, the deep cutting pain of being left with Plutt and screaming until she had no breath left. It was immediate and sharp, her gut twisting into knots that never truly came untied. As a child, she could only compare it to a stomach ache that made her whole body sick.

This didn’t feel like a stomach ache. It felt more substantial, like a part of herself was eating its way from the inside out. Her limbs ached and her throat felt tight to the point that it hurt to talk. She wished she was naive enough to trick herself into thinking she was sick. Just until the pain dulled again and it could just be added to the pile of loose glass inside. It would cut, and she would feel, but she could forget and press on.

But she knew this feeling too well to make-pretend.

What pissed her off more than anything was _why_. She knew better than to get attached to anyone. She told herself as it happened that it was a terrible idea and he was nothing but a passing distraction and she’d forget him as quickly as he came and left.

Rey flinched as she cut herself on a sharp point deep within the engine she was gutting. She pulled her finger immediately to her mouth. It tasted more of motor oil than blood, but it helped to soothe the passing sting and she didn’t mind the taste after all these years.

She was outside in the direct heat of the junkyard. BeeBee was nearby, hidden under the shell of an old truck, and snoring loud enough for her to hear but no one else to notice. The engine she was working on needed to be stripped by the end of the day and she was already behind. She had cut her fingers more today than she had in the last two years combined. It was pathetic. This was her job, her life, and suddenly she was failing at the one thing she could rely on.

Instead of stuffing her hands back in the engine, she stood up and slumped down beside BeeBee’s hiding spot. She did her best to fold herself into the shade. Only her shoes stuck out into the sun and that was good enough – better sweaty feet than heatstroke again. She sighed and rested her head against the warm metal of the car behind her. She was so hot the metal felt cool against her. Even if it wasn’t, she was sure she wouldn’t have noticed. She was just so mad.

BeeBee nudged at her hand with his nose. It was dry and she knew she’d have to give him more water than usual with dinner. She reached back to scratch behind his ears and the sound that mewled out the back of his throat soothed her a little.

“This is stupid BeeBee,” she muttered aggravatingly, “I only spent a few hours with him.”

BeeBee shuffled out from under the car and draped himself across her lap. She sighed and continued to pet him and scratch at his chin the way he liked. He panted happily and licked at her fingers when they got close enough to his snout that he could reach.

“I’m an idiot,” Rey chided herself with an awkward laugh. Beebee made a deep noise from the back of his throat and raised his head at her. Rey hummed, “You don’t think so?”

She raised her head to peek at the sun. It was so bright in Jakku; the white light taking over the sky. Her eyes couldn’t take it for long and she was quickly seeing sunspots across her vision. She didn’t think about life outside of Jakku often, and when she did it was always back to those same little memories. Instead, her mind drifted to New York. All she knew was the name and that it had trees and green – only the little things Kylo had said in passing. She didn’t have any clue as to where it was, or where he was.

She wondered if the sun looked the same.

“Stupid city boy,” she spat. Gently, she shooed BeeBee off her lap and back into his little hiding place. Rey pushed herself to her feet and wandered back to the broken down engine in the sand. It was blisteringly hot under the heat and looking at it she knew she was going to leave with a few more burns across her fingers.

She scowled, “Stupid me.”

——————

Kylo was wrong when he thought getting back to work would keep his mind occupied. He expected the odd flare-up. After having yet another dream about her, he was accepting into thinking Rey wouldn’t be completely gone from his mind.

This was another thing completely.

The morning warm-up was full of her face. He saw her smile behind his eyelids whenever he blinked, swore he could hear her laugh when the machines squeaked around him. She was everywhere. He felt like he was going a little crazy.

He fell into daydreams as his second-in-command caught his up on the week and a half he missed. He nodded along as the natural pauses and no one knew the wiser as his thoughts remained full of her. It scared him a little, just how deep he was already caught in the tide. Those hours had brought out a part of him he hadn’t known existed. It whispered comforting thoughts and filled him with warmth. He wasn’t used to it. She had made him _feel_ – he hadn’t truly felt in so long. It was odd and strange and everything about it was an addicting taste.

He wanted more. So much more.

She deserved more.

The lingering thoughts of being able to give her more strayed back into his head. He’d been having the same epiphany over and over since his last time in Jakku. He had more than enough money to support two people – he didn’t spend his cheque on much besides his bills and books. His apartment had room for anything she would want to bring with her. He’d never had a dog before and he wondered if she’d want to bring BeeBee along.

He shook himself from his dream. He was getting ahead of himself – he didn’t even have a reason to go back to Jakku besides seeing her. The team around him stopped, and his second-in-command closed his mouth mid-sentence. Kylo stood and brushed himself off before announcing lunch and leaving the room without so much as another word.

It wasn’t anywhere near lunch, but Kylo stepped out the front door to the local coffee shop like he usually did anyways. The old barista looked surprised to see him. He was never in early and hardly came in for lunch on time on a regular day so he knew this would have been strange.

The old woman who owned the shop constantly worked the bar and he had a feeling she’d never taken a day off in her life. She was small with wrinkled orange skin and glasses so thick and big they had an air of cartoon about them. Still, the air she held was powerful and he knew from years of frequenting her little shop that Maz would take so little nonsense from anyone that she had been known to run clients off with a mere look.

“Kylo Ren,” she bellowed from across the room. Adjusting her glasses on her nose, she stared at him as he approached the counter, “Something’s different.”

“Nothing’s different,” Kylo shrugged flippantly, “The usual, Maz.”

Maz’s eyebrows shot up and she stared at him expectantly. She waved a hand at him in a ‘come on’ motion.

Kylo grit his teeth, feeling much like a chastised child, “Please.”

She nodded her head contently and went about the back of the counter starting a new pot of coffee and fetching about bread and meat for his usual sandwich. She peeked little glances over at him and narrowed her eyes with a wisdom he didn’t like to remember existed. He hated the look in her eyes when she got like this. She couldn’t keep her nose out of anything; there was always new gossip going around the office thanks to her old eyes and wise mouth.

Food finished, she packed it on a tray for him along with his coffee and placed it on the counter. Kylo pulled his wallet out and threw a twenty down. Maz took her time breaking the bill, staring up at him more than looking at what she was doing. She passed him his changed, but when he went to take the tray, she placed a fragile hand over his.

“Something is different,” she mused, a wry smile firmly in place, “It’s good.”

Uncomfortable, Kylo wrenched his hand away from her and grabbed his tray. He nodded in thanks before rushing over to his usual table. It was in the back and away from all the other tables. He liked the secluded nature of it. Other patrons never came by the back unless they had to and the silence often gave him time to think. Usually, he came with work – papers and plans that needed prep and blueprints to place security during public events. Instead, today he came with just his own thoughts.

He unwrapped his sandwich and took the top off his coffee cup to let it cool, but left both well enough alone. Across from his seat was a giant window that spanned the wall of the shop. It was clean, and outside the streets bustled with people. It was dizzying – the amount of people rushing across the sidewalks like trains of flesh and ambition. Above the city, the sky was grey and abysmal with blackening clouds that looked like rain was imminent.

He watched the world from his seat until his coffee was cold and his sandwich was soggy. He picked at the bread as noon finally did roll around, too preoccupied with staring as the rain started to fall and people fled the streets like ants to pick it up and properly eat. He didn’t taste it as the little pieces slid down his throat. Instead, he wondered the last time Jakku had seen rain, if it rained at all.

He could imagine her now; how she would see the rain and run into the streets and dance in the downpour until she was soaked. She’d get sick but she’d love it nonetheless. The sand would be wet for days and she’d run around barefoot just to feel the give between her toes.

“Your coffee is cold.”

Maz appeared in front of him like a ghost. His gaze was wretched from the window at her voice and he nodded in thanks as she switched out his cup for a new one. The steam rose like smoke and all he could think of was his car breaking down in the desert.

“What’s wrong,” she pressed. She pushed her way onto the bench beside him and he shied away from her almost immediately. He wasn’t sure why he kept coming back to this place. Maz’s attention was borderline maternal and he hated it. He was nearly thirty. He didn’t need a mother.

“Nothing,” he snapped, eyes turning back to the rain, “Just thinking.”

“You’ve been here nearly two hours,” she muttered.

He hummed in response. He should be heading back to work though he knew he wouldn’t get a lot done as well it should be. He was distracted and it was incredibly bothersome. Or at least, it should have been. Instead, that odd fuzzy feeling had stayed ingrained in his chest with no sign of leaving him.

“If you live long enough, you begin to see the same eyes in different people,” Maz stated. She was looking at him with a wisdom Kylo often forgot she possessed, “I’m looking at the eyes of a man who wants to run.”

Kylo sneered, “I am perfectly content with my life.”

“Are you now,” Maz deadpanned, narrowing her eyes in suspicion, “Well, then make sure you tell that to whoever it is you want to run to.”

His jaw dropped as she trotted away, his cold coffee in her hands. Kylo bit his cheek to keep from screaming. There were other people here now, and once again he was reminding himself that cussing out an old women would do nothing but make him look like an even bigger douche-bag. With a growl, he pushed his tray away and left his coffee and what was left of his sandwich before charging out the door.

He walked down the street, not caring as the rain pelted him like little bullets and left him cold and uncomfortable. People looked to him with unease and parted as he pushed through the crowds. It wasn’t long before he arrived back at the office. Slightly damp, but completely numb to it all, he pushed through the doors and stomped into the foyer.

For the second time that day, Armitage Hux in all his knock-off gingersnap glory was standing waiting for him.

“Ren,” he shouted, rushing up to him in a flurry of expensive coats and the squeak of his polished shoes hurting Kylo’s ears, “Where the bloody hell have you been!?”

“Lunch,” Kylo said starkly, “Skipping meals is bad for you.”

Hux glowered at him, lips pursed in anger, “Don’t get sarcastic with me, Ren. It’s been hours.”

“Hmm,” he mused.

Kylo shifted on his feet and looked around. Usually, the office excited him. He felt a need when he was here; he was useful, wanted. He knew where he stood. He had authority and command. If people didn’t respect him, they at least feared him enough to listen. Hux looked like he was ready to punch him in the jaw; he wouldn’t, Kylo knew, because that would only result in him punching his weasel-face back and his fist would do a lot more damage. Maybe he’d even break his nose. That would be fun.

But – today it didn’t feel the same. Something was wrong, missing. He just wasn’t present. Everything around felt more like a blur and instead of wondering what was wrong with him he just didn’t care.

Everything looked the same. The same interns working and running. The house still smelled of perfume and nervous sweat. There were papers flying around like confetti in the offices to his right. The sounds from the kitchen were loud and familiar to his left. Everything was the same.

Except it wasn’t.

“I’m going on vacation.”

Hux blanched, “What?”

Kylo pushed past him and walked with purpose to collect his things. Hux’s face was borderline purple as he followed him, mouth agape like a fish in shock. He sputtered behind him, trying to find his words. It wasn’t often Hux was speechless. Kylo rather liked it.

He followed him down the stairs and around the room as Kylo packed his clothes and work files. He made sure to grab whatever may be necessary for working from home. His team watched on in shock. It must have been a sight – the great Armitage Hux, reduced to nothing but a flustered mess, looking like he might have a stroke and die from the sheer stress, trailing a suspiciously calm Kylo Ren as he packed.

Finally, Hux found his words and the quiet was broken, “You can’t just leave!”

“I have more than enough vacation days,” Kylo shrugged, “I can do whatever I want.”

“Yes, but-”

Kylo cut him off by shoving Hux to the side with a sharp shove and spoke with a voice that sounded like ice, “I suggest getting out of my way.”

Then, Kylo left. He strode out the front doors, arms full of clothes, folders, and his briefcase. He tossed his things into the back of his car with little care. It covered his back seat in clutter but still couldn’t bring himself to care. Wrenching open his front door, a smile bloomed on his face before he could register it happening at all.

With a deep breath, he put his car into drive and went home. He needed to pack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did we like the smut? Did we? I did.
> 
> And that was my present to you guys this holiday. Happy Chanukah to all my fellow Jews out there, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy whatever else you all are celebrating! I hope the holidays are all treating you well this year!
> 
> Next time on Kylo Ren's boner is taking over: Kylo heads back to Jakku!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo makes it back to Jakku and things don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see?  
> I never intended for it to take this long to post this chapter. Long story short, I moved and spent my summer packing and kind of lost my groove from the whole thing. Threw off my whole schedule and ability to really sit down and write for a while. While I am no mean'rs a very fast writer - and I'm thinking that my usually long chapters a little to blame for that - I'm hoping that my routine settles down a little now that everything's finally done.
> 
> Thanks to TheLastMist born for all her help. Pretty sure you're my Beta now! <3
> 
> This chapter is brought to you by "I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles)" by The Proclaimers

The phone call took longer to come than Kylo expected.

It was day two of his impromptu vacation. Jakku was no longer days away but hours. Holed up in a drafty motel, those last few miles were all the more obvious by the sand whipping in the wind outside, pelting the windows like hail. At first, he’d been furious at the dust storm for forcing him to stop his drive, but once he stopped, parked in the lot of the miraculously placed motel, the fatigue in his body made itself known. He was stiff and sore everywhere from the long days drive, his arms screaming from gripping the wheel like a vice. 

He’d been placated with the knowledge that the storm would pass by morning when checking in. He was almost there, and as much as the pull in his chest fought otherwise, a few hours of sleep wouldn’t hurt.

The room he rented was small with oily yellow walls and moth-eaten curtains. He didn’t bother with the dresser – even if he was staying longer than the night, it smelled like mold. Atop it was an old box TV. It sparked when Kylo tried to turn it on. He unplugged it for good measure before giving up and crawling into the too-short bed and trying to arrange himself so his feet didn’t hang completely off the edge.

As the dizzying comfort of unconsciousness was taking him, his phone rang. His stomach dropped at once. He did his best to control the sudden shaking as he fumbled with his phone. He has been waiting for this call since leaving First Order property and driving off without a care for protocol.

He’d spent the drive with his mind split. One moment, it would be Rey, his thoughts affection drunk and the words he’d say when finally given the opportunity to speak. The next, they were dark. Imaginings of Mr. Snoke’s possible reaction and how bad the repercussions would be for his stunt – he’d seen careers ruined over a lot less. 

Yet, he didn’t care. He knew his job was safe. Mr. Snoke had put too much time and effort into his education to dump him for one transgression, no matter the size. Any backlash, and there would be backlash, would be worth it.

He had never wanted anything like this before. He needed – so much his body ached. An invisible tether had coiled around his body and would tug him back to Jakku or rip him to pieces trying. Leaving was the right choice.

It was the only choice.

Still, Kylo hesitated as he brought the phone to his ear and spoke, “Sir.”

“ _Kylo Ren_ ,” Mr. Snoke hissed. His voice was a terrible mix of grit and age. The disapproval was palpable in his words like a vicious smog reaching over the line, “ _This isn’t like you, my boy._ ”

“It’s not,” Kylo agreed.

Mr. Snoke chuckled his tongue wetly. It left Kylo with the image of a wolf licking his chops with predatory indecision. With baited breath, he listened as Mr. Snoke hummed darkly, the sound sending uncomfortable shivers through his spine before the old man addressed him again.

“ _Your timing is rather troublesome. How will it look to the public if it comes out that my Head of Security, my_ protege _, just up and disappeared?_ ”

Kylo gulped, trying desperately to swallow the lump forming in his throat, “I’ll be back before the official announcement. I have... some unfinished business.”

“ _Ah... yes. I must admit, I was expecting this eventually._ ”

“Sir?”

“ _Your potential is unmatched, boy. Such raw strength_ ,” he sneered, the pretty words falling victim to his venom tongue, “ _Sow your oats then, but don’t let a warm bed suddenly distract you from your purpose. Don’t disappoint me._ ”

Kylo was unable to do anything but breathe and listen. He knew this side of the old man well. Age had not withered Mr. Snoke to paper mache and bird bones. He stood at an intimidating height of near seven feet, towering over everyone with regal pose, and moved without the burden of arthritis. He was someone to be feared, to be respected. Underestimating him was a mistake Kylo had no intention of making.

Gently, Mr. Snoke hummed to himself once more. It sounded like static in Kylo’s ear. Mr. Snoke’s tone softened when he finally spoke, but his threat was thinly veiled and potent.

“ _Your legacy deserves better._ ”

The line went dead. The click of the phone was a gunshot that left blood churning in his head. His heart thumped a painful rhythm behind his temples. Everything was tight 0 his body pulled on a string that threatened to tear his chest apart. The taste on blood on his tongue and the ache in his teeth were a familiar companion as the well of ire inside him bubbled. The world was a sudden blur of white noise and surreal colours.

When the moment finally passed and his surroundings reformed, Kylo was exhausted. His phone lay destroyed in a barrage of plastic shards by the wall. The room, itself, was in shambles. The window was shattered, puzzle pieces of glass littering the floor, from chucking the TV out into the parking lot. Above the bed, he didn’t remember punching holes in through the dry wall but his knuckles were bleeding and bruised.

He fell back into the pillows with dead limbs. The taste of anger was still bitter in his throat. He passed out to the familiar flavour and the awkward comfort it gave.

\- - - - - -

Rey was dreaming.

She knew it – she could feel that while the endless white she floated in felt as real as the breath in her lungs, it wasn’t. She tried to flex her limbs but they refused to move. Her mind was awake, alarmingly so, but her body was not.

She hadn’t had a dream like this in years. The old preacher had called them ‘ lucid ’ but he had long since died and she had no way of confirming it. When she was little, they had been an escape she craved, but as the work became harder and she grew, they left her.

This one, however, was different. Everything was empty. She couldn’t see herself. The empty vast she floated in was as much apart of her as she was apart of it – an incorporeal existence within the white void. But, she could feel, her body bare despite not not being there, and it was nothing like she’d ever known.

There were hands, two hands, large and firm, stroking her body. They were soft, yet she could feel the callouses of hard work across the palms. They were everywhere at once, despite how she somehow knew they only belonged to one person.

She wasn’t sure what to think, it was odd, except for the fact that it felt _good_.

The hands traced her body like it was precious, cradling her hips and sweeping fingers up the length of her body to run the length of her collar bone. Gentleness was not something she was accustomed to. For a blessed moment, she wanted to cry for how wonderful it was. Everything was too much, her being overwhelmed by the reserve of emotions she hadn’t known she possessed. 

The hands cupped her shoulders and dipped down, fingers hardly scraping her skin until they reached her hands and plucked at her fingers. They skipped to her thighs, able to be quick and feel as if they never left her skin. Moving down, the stroked the inside of her legs, hands so wide they curled around the back.

She was flying, herself soaring under the ministrations. The hands were trailing back up her thighs. Thumbs leading, the hands moved slowly and with precise intent. Her body was a pool of heat and fire, the flames slowly rising within her. Every nerve, every breath she gave, a pleasant burning followed.

She was floating higher. There was suddenly an end to the white – a deep rippling above her – tantalizing and clear. Burning like a comet as she flew, the hands finally reached their destination and settled in the wet junction of her thighs.

She burst through the surface and shattered with it.

The sky was still dark when Rey woke up. It was too early to expect the sun to start rising along with her. The black night was sprinkled with stars, the moon a bright yellow fixture barely half way to setting. Usually, the night sky brought Rey a slight comfort. She would pretend it was morning and, instead of having to wake with the dawn, she was a normal person with a normal job who slept in on Saturday mornings without a care. It was a silly lie but she enjoyed the fantasy and would drift back to sleep until the sun came and her real life begun again.

Instead, she woke without the fuzz of sleep clinging to her. Her vision wasn’t blurred from sleep, a strange occurrence in the dry desert air. The stars were blinding through the holes in her ceiling. They stared down, like eyes, watching her breathe and look back at them.

The night was oddly cold but Rey was not. Her body hummed with an unfamiliar heat. An undefinable curl of warmth was in her gut and it was spreading like a virus, leaving the tips of her fingers on fire. She reached to touch her forehead, expecting a fever, but found the skin cool to her fingertips.

She wasn’t sure how, but a voice inside was giddy and screaming. Some intuition deep inside was welling her body with buzzing. Her heart hurt it was beating so fast. She didn’t know if her ribs could contain it.

Something was coming. Something big. Something important.

Whether it was good or bad, she had no idea, but anything was better than Jakku. She curled up carefully in her hammock. Her body was on fire with excitement. Abuzz, her mind raced with possibilities. Her imagination had never been a strong suit – other things had always been more important than what could have been without Jakku.

Unprovoked pictures of shaggy black hair and eyes so deep they felt endless invaded her brain. Rey flinched as a shiver crawled up her spine. His voice was in her head. The way excitement betrayed him as he read, the sarcasm and eye rolls, the softness that hid something she couldn’t place but felt familiar nonetheless.

She shook her head in her hands as she tried desperately to dislodge the images from her brain. She was projecting – that was all. These hopes were stupid. Misplaced. He wasn’t coming back. No one came back to Jakku. Never willingly, at least. He had no need to. She’d been elbows deep in his car, she’d seen the clothes he wore. He held himself with a confidence no one in Jakku had.

There was no chance of him returning. 

Regardless, her heart boomed in her ears. She curled a fist to her chest and pressed it to her sternum until it hurt. Breathing through it, she smiled. Hope was tainting her mind. It was white and blinding and even as her knuckles bruised her collar, it persisted.

At her side, BeeBee suddenly whined. Rey turned to peer over the edge of her hammock. BeeBee panted and threw his paw up, trying to catch her. She couldn’t help her smile brightening and moved carefully to pick him up off the floor. He yipped but nestled in happily against her chest as the hammock gently swayed with their movements.

Pressing his muzzle into her face, he gave a gentle goodnight lick and fell back asleep near immediately. He snored and it tickled her neck. Rey brought her arms up around his frame and tucked him further against her.

Happily, she pretended to be a normal person, on a normal weekend, sleeping in without a care.

\- - - - - -

Kylo woke to a knock on his hotel door late in the morning.

His head throbbed in time with his heartbeat the moment his eyes opened and the sun hit his face. It was an awful, splitting pain. Annoyed, he shoved the heels of his hands against his eye sockets. The pressure was nice, but did little to truly ease him. 

The knocking persisted, now joined by an elderly man yelling in a language he couldn’t understand. His body screamed as he moved, protesting in sharp pains to his ribs and bones. Groaning softly, he shuffled over to the door. He grit his teeth harder as the knocking turned to pounding and the door shook in its frame. 

“I’m coming!” he yelled, a harsh bellow, and with it, the noise stopped immediately.

He sighed at the reprieve, thought it was short lived. As soon as he opened the door, an elderly man visible recoiled at the sight of Kylo seething in the doorway. The man was nothing intimidating; short, round like a globe, and he had more hair coming out of his ears than left on his eggshell head. Then, like the flip of a switch, the elderly man’s anger returned and he pushed his way into the room, knocking Kylo aside with surprising strength. Kylo clutched at his head while the man jumped around the room, screeching at the mess and pointing at every speck of damage as if Kylo hadn’t seen it. 

In the light, the room looked much worse than it has when he’d fallen asleep. The damage to the walls surpassed the hole’ s he ’d noticed – ripped wallpaper and a barrage of bloody stains. The glass from the window was swept across the carpet, clinging to the fuzz like snow. He looked down at his hands. His knuckles were heartily scabbed and there were cuts across his open palms that had left smears of red up his forearms.

With a scowl and tight-locked jaw, Kylo shoved passed the old man to reach his suitcase, kicking away glass with his bare feet and not caring enough to acknowledge the pinpricks. The man was staring, baring his teeth like an animal. His face dropped in passivity when Kylo pulled back and produced a cheque book from his luggage. Suddenly amiable, the old man plucked a suspiciously well placed pen from his breast pocket. Kylo took it and scribbled down a more than generous number before pushing it into his hands. The old man’s eyes nearly bulged out of his face. He was too invested in the number to do anything else but leave as Kylo ushered him out. 

He composed himself as he turned back to the room. He was tempted to punch another hole in the wall or break the beside lamp in petulant revenge, but the sun was too high in the sky for his heart to take the delay. 

He didn’t have time to dwell on exhaustion having taken over and sleeping in. He moved on autopilot - ready to pack up, grab a shitty coffee from downstairs, and get back on the road.

He stalled. Staring down at his things, an unprovoked smile split his cheeks and the residual anger of the previous night were gone. 

Today was the day.

He composed himself, but moved quickly as he shoved what little belongings he had removed from his suitcase back in. His shirts would be wrinkled and he thought he heard the crack of plastic somewhere beneath, but it was all white noise. 

He didn’t bother to change. He would have sweat through whatever he wore by the time he reached Jakku. The sample bottle of cologne in his glove compartment would have to do in lieu of a shower and new clothes. 

He ran from the little yellow room, suitcase in hand because pulling it by the wheels was  _just too slow,_ and straight to his car. He sped from the driveway with little care for anything else but his destination. He was in the middle of nowhere – there were no cops, or other cares for that matter, for miles.

He couldn’t care that sand was slipping through his vents or that the air was stuffy and dry inside his car. He couldn’t care that his tires had hardly any traction on the dirt roads or that his car was protesting at the speed. Maybe it would break down again; he laughed bitterly. It didn’t, but he was far past caring what to say or do when he returned. 

It was simple. He’d tell the truth. He’d sweep her off her feet and they’d drive away from the dirty hellhole and... he’d figure the rest out after that. 

His brain stuttered to a halt as the blurry shadow of Jakku on the skyline appeared. His throat was tight and sore from holding his breath. Anticipation ran through him so strong, an electrical current seizing his limbs, it hurt. Everything was lightening tickling his skin. All he could do was feel and the sheer amount of it was making him nauseous. 

There wasn’t a spare moment to wonder why feeling so awful felt so good. Jakku was in sight, the sloping dilapidated buildings clearing. The gaudy sign for “Plutt’s” was reflecting the sun into his eyes like a beacon. He followed it, helpless, until finally – _fucking finally!_ \- he was back in Jakku.

He moved as a ghost, his mind registering everything seconds after he parked and left his car. There was no heat, or wind, or sand. It felt like walking through a dream. He could see himself walk to the front door of the little shack masquerading as a mechanic’s shop. It had only been a week since he’d last been standing there, but it felt as if it could have been both years or seconds. 

With a quick prayer that it would be Rey who greeted him beyond the door and not Plutt, he tried to swallow away his swollen throat and entered.

The front room was exactly as he remembered inside – all dust-caked and grime, smelling of exhaust. The front desk was vacant, the plastic school chair tipped over behind it. His gut dropped when he realized the air was stale of sound. He could hear nothing but the squeak of a broken fan in the corner.

He walked cautiously towards the garage door. He moved slow, taking time to step over random bits of debris in his path. The floor was an obstacle course of rusted garbage. Twisting to move around a sharp jut of metal, he took a wrong step, his hip bumping into a large pile of cardboard boxes. The top box fell to the floor in a loud thump, it’s contents of thin brown packages spilling across the floor. The packages were pristine, the only new items he’d seen at all in the town. 

He got to his knees, a slight strange sense of dread at the packages scattered at his feet among the other litter, and began to repack them into the box. The words on the front of them were in Russian, he could recognize the characters easy enough but had no clue what they read. They felt full and heavy, and he could tell that they were something important. He packed them all back, despite a curiosity growing to tear one apart and see inside. 

Then, a gasp rang out, feminine and familiar, and Kylo looked up to see Rey standing mere feet away.

The light was dim, but she shined anyway.

She looked as perfect as he remembered, all worries that his mind had embellished her memory gone in an instant. Her clothes were ratted and her hands were stained black around her nails. Her fingers had left smudges along her cheeks like war paint. A desert warrior with crystal eyes staring with disbelief. Her pretty mouth was parted and he was distracted for a moment by their colour. 

All the words he had planned, the silly monologue and offers of whisking her away like a fairy tale prince, were gone at the sight of her. Instead, he choked on his tongue.

“Hello.”

She didn’t say anything at first, only continued to stare at him like a ghost. He shifted under her gaze, not sure what to do. In all his fantasies of this moment, he hadn’t imagined this. In the sweet ones, there had been compassionate words, screams and tears, and pulling her to him like a couple long separated. In the darker ones, the ones his anxiety tainted black, she had yelled and dismissed him. But, there was never just silence. Doubt coiled in his stomach like a viper. He wished she would say something, or shout, or scream,  _anything_ ! 

What was he doing here? She probably thought he was some kind of weird stalker creep. A part of his brain whispered that she would be right. He grimaced at the thought. How foolish he’d been – thinking something wonderful might actually happen because he wished it. Such tactics had never worked before. 

Her face finally moved and it twisted with suspicion. Eyes narrowed, she stared him down like a gnat she was about to swat. She walked towards him with apprehension marking each step. She was a doe, proud and strong, but skittish in an unknown presence.

Coming to stand in front of him, her head cocked up to appraise him. He stood still for her, afraid that if he moved, she would run. Instead, her hand reached toward him. The air stilled in his lungs. Reaching up, so very slow, she peered up at him under dark lashes and watched in awe as her fingers grazed his cheek. 

She recoiled, and stepped out of his zone in shock. Looking to her hands and back to him, she was returned to her state of complete disbelief, her eyes reading as if she hadn’t truly suspected him to be there. She tucked her arms around herself like a shield.

“You came back.”

The words were like water. He was parched of them and wanted more. Still uncertain of what to say, he opened his mouth to speak and hoped the words would come on their own. Instead, the door open and slammed behind him and he whirled around to see Plutt stumbling through the door way.

He was a disgusting mess. He was bumbling and unable to stand straight without the help of the door frame. Even from across the room, Kylo could smell alcohol coming from him. His shirt was stained with sweat, his pants falling from his hips and leaving the underside of his red belly exposed. He looked more like a swollen pig than a man.

“Girl!” He barked, and Kylo stiffened at the animosity. Plutt stumbled in their direction, stopping just short of Kylo before he realized his existence. His sunken eyes bulged like a frog and he suddenly fell into a fit of wet coughs. Rey winced audibly from behind.

Shaken, and drunk, Plutt attempted to right himself and slurred, “Mr. Ren! What are you doing here?”

The alcohol has impaired what little customer service the man had. Grimacing in his direction, Kylo stood rigidly before him. Plutt had weight on him, but he was satisfied in how small the man still seemed below him. He was too drunk to be scared, but Kylo had dealt with worse. 

From behind him, Rey approached. She stared expectantly. She was obviously waiting for his answer, her curiosity clear across her face. Somehow, between the fat drunkard and her, he was far more scared of her. Her reaction determined everything. The rest of his life - and hers - depended on her answer. It was too much to share. 

He had never felt like more of a coward than when he spoke next.

“I’m on vacation.”

“Here?” Rey asked, incredulously.

“Yes,” he answered quickly, “it’s... quiet here.”

She snorted and rolled her eyes at him. He smirked at the display, enjoying her sass. It was riveting. Plutt, however, did not agree and shot her a look that was clear and pointed. Rey bristled but stepped away from the conversation. 

“I have work to do,” she muttered.

Kylo watched her leave. His mouth wouldn’t work as his brain yelled at him to stop her. She looked defeated, her body upright with strength but a slowness in her step that was unmistakable. He caught her eyes as she turned back to look at him. She straightened under his gaze, not realizing he was looking until she had been caught herself. Mouth set, she flipped back towards the garage door and was gone in a flutter of rags that took the air with her.

His feet almost moved without him. His mind couldn’t give up the spitting anger rising from his throat. He had been so close. If Plutt hasn’t interrupted... he turned to face the drunk slob beside him. He reeked far more up close and without Rey’s distraction it was becoming clear just how much so.

Instead of talking as Kylo had expected, Plutt was busy with the box he had righted. His grubby hands were adjusting the stack of cardboard. He looked surprisingly sober from the side but the rude words he was whispered under his breath were slurring. When he finished, he nodded contently to himself. With too much effort, he turned to face Kylo, a gross salesman-smile on his face.

Before he could speak, Kylo interrupted, “I need a place to stay.”

Plutt fumbled. Wiping his hands across his jeans, he stuttered, “Here?”

This time it was Kylo’s turn to roll his eyes, “In Jakku.”

“Yea, right right...” Plutt mumbled. 

He pushed past him to wobble to a little shelf beside the service desk. Grubby hands slipped but managed to grab a file folder from the bottom. It was stained and crusted with dust that flakes off like dandruff as Plutt struggled to open it. Agonizingly, Kylo watched the old fool struggle with the simple clasp until the Plutt s uncoordinated hands finally pushed him past patience and straight into ripping the folder open down the seam. He shuffled through old yellowed papers before finding what he was looking for. He pulled a small slip from the papers and waved it in the air triumphantly. 

“Here!” He announced, thrusting the slip into Kylo’s hands. He pointed to it, and his fingers shook as he talked, but he smiled with his black teeth all the same as he stumbled over his words “As a valu... valia... _good_ customer, I’m willingly to look over the fine print. This here’s a little something to get you a day off.”

Kylo crooked an eyebrow, “Day off?”

“You’re welcome!”

Plutt ignored his glares, too intoxicated to care. Kylo was starting to think the man was too drunk to even recognize him as anything beyond a hallucination. The old man left him with a flourish in his hands that looked more like a seizure spasm than anything else. He stumbled to an old staircase hidden by the front door and walked up it like a wounded dog on all fours. There was a thump once he was out of sight, and Kylo guessed smugly that the living pus bag had passed out upon reaching the second floor. The anger ebbed in him a little as he heard the pained snores from above him. 

Finally, he addressed the crusty paper in his fingers. The printing was nearly faded, done in a ball point pen on old lined paper, but the cursive was surprisingly legible and was at odds with everything else he’d seen in Jakku. It read:

“ _Our Lady of Light and Judgement_

_offering room and board to weary_ _travelers_ _in need_

_will redeem a fee of a one night with this note”_

The note was signed with a scribbled signature. The words were fancy for a glorified coupon, but it was all he had. He thought about following Rey back through the garage door; she had been spooked by his appearance. He swallowed the load of spit building in his mouth. He couldn’t push - not too much, not this soon. Even if he desperately wanted to. 

He was impatient, but he could wait. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time on Kylo Ren is already whipped: we meet another familiar face and Kylo tries to get closer to Rey while she struggles to understand her feelings.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who came back to continue this. I appreciate it so much. Do you guys prefer he longer chapters or shorter ones when reading chapter fics? I'm curious.

**Author's Note:**

> I have wanted to write this story for sooooo long! 
> 
> It's been a long time since I've felt such a connection with characters. I had thought that I had lost touch with writing and that perhaps it wasn't for me anymore like it used to be. It's been so long since something was genuinely fun to write! After the trailer dropped (because OMG YES) I finally got off my ass because dammit, I wan this story to happen and I want to be more involved in the Reylo community - something that's proved rather difficult without a tumblr.
> 
> I really wanted this to be as close to the original characters as I can get. Sometimes, I see AU's and just by the change in circumstances it can change the characters to the point that they no longer feel like who their supposed to be. While the story itself is not a retelling of TFA by any means , I really wanted to keep the character backstories as close as I could while still acknowledging the Modern Era - I'm considering it a personal challenge. 
> 
> Come visit me on instagram @RachelZimon! I'd love to hear from you!


End file.
